In His Shell
by Lady knownothingatall
Summary: Hermione is assigned extra lessons with Severus. Slowly a bond develops, and Severus learns to open up. Not really HBP comp. 6th and 7th years mixed together. Textbook still in effect! Flame with proper grammer! Love, Lady knownothingatall
1. Desperate for changing

**A/N:I hope your happy. Now that I have two storys on the go, I'll most likely do a chapter with both at the same time, than neglect one, and work on the other. This is a Severus and Hermione fic. Now, I know some people are highly offended by this pairing. I must ask that you either dont read this, or at least tell me of your loathing with PROPER GRAMMER.  
Thanks lol.**_I never gave a lock of hair away  
To a man, Dearest, except this to thee,  
Which now upon my fingers thoughtfully,  
I ring out to the full brown length and say  
'Take it.' My day of youth went yesterday;  
My hair no longer bounds to my foot's glee,  
Nor plant I it from rose or myrtle-tree,  
As girls do, any more: it only may  
Now shade on two pale cheeks the mark of tears,  
Taught drooping from the head that hangs aside  
Through sorrow's trick. I thought the funeral-shears  
Would take this first, but Love is justified,—  
Take it thou,—finding pure, from all those years,  
The kiss my mother left here when she died._

There are bridges you cross,  
You didnt know you crossed,  
Untill you crossed them.  
And if that joy...that thrill...  
Doesnt thrill, like you think it will...  
Still, this perfect finallie, with the cheers in the galley...  
Who, who wouldnt be happier?

**A/N:You guys should check out a play called Wicked. It's ah-maze-ing.  
Give us warning, where will she strike next?  
Lol, I loved it. I went to london to see it, and oh em gee, I swear...-faint orgasm-.  
My hair's red and black now, and I like cheesies. Has anyone noticed that in everybody's story where Hermione has to take extra potions, Dumbledore offers her a sherbet lemon?  
PS- This is set in the sixth year, and I've changed it a bit. There is some mention about the textbook Harry had in Slughorns class, but Severus is still the potions, and a previous professor from the DADA job is back. Its going to follow a HBP stuff, the seventh year's just going to be blended into it. And, unlike JK, I wont be stopping right after the thing that she stopped after.  
There will be different survivors, and different dead.  
Love a lot, Lady knownothingatall**

**Quotes of the day-**  
**I swear, its called slip and slide, not slip and bleed from the ANUS. CHECK FOR ROCKS, YOU BASTARD!.  
We're going to hell. Oop! We're here!  
**

* * *

"...Extra potions, and dueling lessons, and later on in your lessons, occlumency, with Professor Snape."  
Hermione Grangers' mouth dropped into an O of suprise. She felt her heartbeat increase rapidly, as she stood, and shrieked indignantly;"WHAT!?" Professor Dumbledore sat calmly behind his desk, surveying her over his half-moon spectecals. He smiled, eyes twinkling, and said; "Yes, I'm afraid so, my dear." Hermione, however wasnt in the mood for smiling and twinkling eyes. She whimpered faintly, and sat down, chest heaving. This couldnt happen to her. She was best friends with that gits' enemy, Harry Potter. He would treat her worse than any reguilar student, he already did.

"I dont want to." She spoke softly, trying to stop her voice from trembling. Her mind raced as she fought back tears of frustration. Refusing to cry, she shook her head, and said again;"I dont want to." Dumbledore nodded, eyes twinkling a little less. "I know you dont. I knew you wouldnt from the moment the Order proposed the idea. But it is a good one, and one that makes a lot of sense. We are nearing the time when Voldemort will strike Hogwarts."  
Hermione nodded slowly, dread slowly inching into her stomach, settling heavily behind her eyes, where a headache was brewing in the most lovley fashion. She nodded a little more, and said weakly, as one last attempt at freedom "Do I have to?"  
Dumbledore chuckled, and said "My dear, do you really believe that if I could prevent you from being in such obvious emotional distress, I wouldnt? Of course, you do have to."  
She groaned, remembering her best friends, and thinking of their reactions."What about Ron and Harry? What do I tell them?" Dumbledore regarded her with a smile, and said;"The truth.", quiet simply.  
She resigned. "Fine. Bur I refuse to enjoy a second of it. He could brew enough potions for the Order. I can duel, I just dont always want to."  
"What, my dear, would we do if he died in battle?" Dumbledore replied. Hermione mentally slapped herself, and said; "Oh."  
racking her brain for another retort, she mumbled "He doesnt need me."  
Dumbledore smiled gently, and said "Oh, Miss Granger, but he does." Despite her efforts to ignore that, she was about to ask what for, when he said "What is your decision?"  
She sighed, and a sense of sickening dread was flowing into her stomach. She nodded a little, and said " I dont want to. If I didnt have to, I wouldnt. But if it's for the Order...Can we set some rules?" Dumbledore nodded, and said "As such?"  
She instantly had an answer "Dont be a git?"  
Dumbledore chuckled, and nodded,"Anything else?" She smiled a little, and thought for a moment. "Dont call me any names. About my hair, my teeth, or my knowing things capacity." Dumbldore chuckled again, and nodded. "If that is all?" She nodded, wanting to say she didnt want to again."I shall call him up, if you could wait a moment. Sherbet lemon?"  
She refused, knowing her parents would kill her. As dentists, they made sure their daughter had perfect teeth.  
Hermione watched as Dumbledore picked up his wand, and waved it. A silver pheonix sprouted gracefully from the end, and Dumbledore said "Please, find professor Snape, and tell him to please come to my office." The silvery bird cooed, and soared straight through a wall.  
Hermione smiled a little, and murmured, "At least I'll know more about potions now."  
Dumbledore nodded, and chuckled as he unstuck two sherbet lemons. "You are quiet correct."  
They sat in silence for a few minutes, Dumbledore was looking around his office with amusement at the previous headmasters portraits.  
Hermione, however was trying to stay calm. She dreaded hearing the knock at his door, and was trying very hard to stay where she was, because she very badly wanted to run back to her commonroom, and hide under her blankets with a book. She breathed in and out slowly, trying to calm herself. Her efforts were futile, because when she heard the dreaded knock, she jumped about a foot in the air, and smiled weakly at the Headmaster. He returned the smile encouragingly, and called; "Enter."  
The door swung forth, and Severus Snape strode into the room. He settled a rather large scowl on his face the second he saw Hermione, but she found herself not caring. She was always nervous around him, she had always just refused to let it show. She smiled a little at the Headmaster, and he motioned for Severus to sit in the chair beside her. He looked the exact opposite of enthralled, but sat gingerly next to her, as though ready to spring up and run if she so much as moved a quarter of an inch near him. He looked at Dumbledore.  
The headmaster smiled, and said "How are you, my dear man?"  
Severus sneered, and said "I am well, but I highly doubt that my well being is any of Grangers' business. If it were, I would ask why, because she has no reason, nor a right to know anything about me." He glared at her, as though everything was entirely her fault.  
She glared back, and a flicker of suprise crossed his face fleetingly, before he rearanged it into another scowl. Good. She knew she was getting to him.  
"What is the meaning of this meeting, Albus?" Severus asked, tearing his glaring eyes away from the girl next to him.  
Dumbledore tented his fingers, and settled his chin on the tips, before saying "I have found you an apprentice."

Severus looked at him for a moment, and Hermione wanted to laugh as his glance darted from her, to the older man behind the desk. Back and forth a few times, before landing back on Dumbledore. "No."  
Hermione felt a ray of hope, and wished dearly that he would refuse, and Dumbldore would let him.  
"I refuse to teach someone like...like her. No. She is annoying, rude, and a knowitall. That bushy, annoying, unmanageable hair will contaminate all of my potions. No."  
Dumbledore nodded, and said "You must. The Order needs it. Occlumency, dueling and potions. She is the strongest witch we have seen in a while, and you need to train her to be even better."  
Severus sighed, and said "You cant seriously expect me to put up with her that often. Albus, I have meetings to attend if I am called." He completely ignored Hermione and she was making faces behind his back, amusing herself, untill Dumbledore said "Miss Granger, has already agreed. Not very happily, of course, but she has agreed. On a few conditions. One of which, is dont be a git." Hermione gasped, and hid her face behind her hands. She peeked through her fingers to find the glaring, black haired man directing the look on his face at her. Before either could speak, Dumbledore continued, "She had alao asked that you not call her any names, about, what was it?" He looked at Hermione, and received a glare. "Oh yes, dont call her any names. About her hair, her teeth, or her 'knowing things capacity'."  
Severus snorted, and said "I will not abhore to any rules. She doesnt like my teaching, she may go elsewhere."  
Albus sighed, and said "Try to follow the first rule, if any?"  
Severus turned and glared at her, but said "If you insist." Dumbledore smiled mischeviously, and said "Miss Granger, you have full permision to inform professor Snape when he is violated that rule."  
She nodded, and Severus sighed exasperatedly. "If that is all? I would like to show her the room of teaching, and give her her new time-table."  
Dumbledore nodded, and Severus stood, at the door in an instant. He stayed there for a second, before barking "Well?! Are you going to sit there all day? Do you wish to learn anything?" She jumped up, and snatched her bookbag. She strode quickly behind him, saying "Goodbye Professor Dumbledore."  
The older man waved his hand, eyes twinkling madly at this point. He was planning something.

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Hermione walked quickly and quietly behind Severus, not wanting him to notice she was still there. Thankfully, he remained silent, and fakely ignorant of her presense, at least, untill they arived at the steps into the dungeons. He turned, and she almost bumped into him. At least two inches away from each other, Hermione felt a flutter of something odd in her stomach. Brushing it off as nevrousness about the new classes, she looked up at him as he said "Be quiet. I am going to give you the password to my quarters, and you shall not tell anyone. The password is serpent. I do not know how to change it, or it would be different. You are only to enter my quarters with my permision. Now follow."  
With that, he spun, robes billowing, and walked swiftly down the stone steps. She followed, walking into the darkest part of the castle.  
She watched his black clad back, and tried to direct all of her hate at him. More, the back of his head. Shivering now, she wrapped her sweater tighter around herself, and glared even harder at her stoic professors' greasy locks. Reaching her limit of hate for the man,(not knowing she had one), she was about to look elsewhere, when he whirled on the spot, and she bumped into him. She looked up at him again, and for the second time, she felt another flutter. He looked down at her, and she noticed he was breathing heavily. His eyes flashed, and his face was wearing a scowl.  
She looked up at him, suprised and confused. He sneered more(if that was possible,), and said;"Miss Granger, if you would kindly stop focusing on me? You are trying to enter my mind, and you are quiet strong when it comes to legilemency. But that does not excuse you fighting my mental bariers. Enough." With that, he turned to a door that she had only just noticed, and murmured "Serpent..."  
Hermione almost closed her eyes at the sound of his voice just then. She had been shocked at how low and almost sensual it sounded. Immediately, she pushed the thought out of her head, and focused on Severus' quarters.  
Stepping into his main sittingroom, she looked around with a smile. "You have nice taste, Professor." She murmured, shifting hre glance to him. To her great suprise, his cheeks tinted the slightest of pinks as he said "Thank you."  
An olive green was lightly brushed onto the border in the middle of the room. The walls were black, but his furniture made up for it.  
He had mahogany and white cushioned chairs and a couch. Everything matched and pulled itself all together.  
Turning, she let out a gasp at the wall behind her. Shelfs were stocked to cracking with books of every subject, the largest portion being potions.  
Not able to help herself, she walked over slowly, looking up to the top shelf in awe. She walked the length of the wall, trailing her fingertips lightly along the spines of the books. "Wow..." she murmured, still not knowing how someone could have that many books.  
She tore herself away from the thousand titles, and looked at her professor, standing near a mahogany and blackstone hearth on the opposite wall. He was watching the fire, with the hint of a smile.  
"Professor?" She said softly, waitng for him to look up. He did, and she waited as he went into the next room. She heard papers being fluttered around, and a bit of muttering.  
A minute later, Severus emerged from the room with a peice of parchment. He wordlessly handed it to her. Glancing down at it, she saw that Herbology, and her free period were taken by dueling, and Occlumency and Legilimency.  
Extra potion classes were to be every night from 8 o'clock until 10.

She sighed, and Severus sneered at her. "Woudl you rather I take transfiugration, or charms? Free period is for people who need extra time and help, you neither." Not careing if it was meant to be or not, she thanked him for the complement, and recieved a grunt.  
She looked at her watch, (9:45pm.) then remember it was a Sunday. She had yet to worry about having a class that same day with the git in front of her.  
She nodded, and he said "I have a few rules of my own, Miss Granger. Do not speak unless spoken to. If you are late, dont bother staying if I say leave. If I must leave, tell no one I did so, unless told to by myself. I will give you something to do. Addres me as sir. Do not speak to me with any attitude."He said this all with a rather large scowl. When he was finished, she nodded, really not caring that he was being a git.  
"Is that all Professor?" She asked in a bored tone. He seethed, and said "Yes. You may leave. Now." So she did.  
Standing in the cold corridor, she realized she felt... odd. Sort of...fluttery? Brushing it off as tired, she walked slowly up to her dormatory. Passing many protraits, she said the password to at least three mistaken ladys'.  
She shook her head as she mumbled the password to the real fat lady, and clambered into the portrait entrance.  
The only two people awake were Harry and Ron, sitting by the fire, playing wizards chess.  
They looked up, and she said "I want to go home." Ron gave her a look of confusion, but Harry, who heard her say that when she got a ninety six percent on a quiz before, laughed, and said "Why 'Mione?"  
Sighing, she sat by the fire, and told them of her meeting with Dumbledore, and then her trip to the belows of Hogwarts with Snape.  
When she was finished, both boys began to shout protests, and Hermione thought she heard something about Melins saggy left something.  
"Hermione, you cant, Snape will seriously suck the soul right out of you." Harry said, making Ron snort. Ron agreed, but to no avail, Hermione vowed she would stay with the lessons. After all, it was for the Order.  
The boys gave up on her and went to bed. She, however sat in the commonroom, contemplating what to do.  
Realized she had dueling first thing after breakfast, she headed up to her dormatory.  
She would need her rest if she was to deal with Snape so early in the morning.  
A lot of it.

**A/N: What did you guys think? Likey? Review me?  
Three reviews or more, and you get another chapter loverlies!  
Muah.**


	2. Starving for truth

**A/N:Loverlies, you liked! Thanks! I got my other peircing done. So now I have snakebites, and I love them! My mom keeps calling me a freak.  
My house is cold, loverlies, so I have a blanket wrapped around my cozy self, and I have a video of a fire going. Lol.  
**_  
There are strange things done in the midnight sun,  
by the men who moil for gold.  
The arctic trails have their secret tales that would make your blood run cold.  
The northern lights have seen queer sights, but the queerest they ever did see,  
Was the night on the marge of Lake LeBarge,  
I cremated Sam McGee.  
Now, Sam McGee was from tennesee, where the cotton blooms and blows,  
Why he left his home, in the south to roam the pole god only knows,  
though he'd often say, in his homley way,  
that he'd sooner live in hell._

Im worse at what I do best  
And for this gift I feel blessed  
Our little group has always been  
And always will until the end.  
With the lights out its less dangerous  
Here we are now  
Entertain us  
I feel stupid and contagious  
Here we are now  
Entertain us

A mulatto  
An albino  
A mosquito  
My libido  
Yea  
And I forget  
Just what it takes  
And yet I guess it makes me smile  
I found it hard  
Its hard to find  
Oh well, whatever, nevermind

**A/N:**callalil27, you stole my comment virginity! For that, you get a cookie, and the condom you SHOULD HAVE USED.(Hearts and a sugar cookie ;p)  
**Quotes of the day-**I don't know if I could kill someone with a frozen turkey because that is a lot of evidence to eat. Unless I found a whole room of people who also wanted that person dead.  
was literally cheated on...I woke up and they were on top of me.

Question of the chapter- Who said "...inform professor Snape when he is violated that rule."?  
Answer, and get a double chocolate fudge nut cookie in my next note dedicated to you! :)

* * *

Severus groaned inwardly as he saw the old woman approach, her back ramrod straight and a thin line of her lips. "Severus," she greeted him tensley, "I thought I'd find you wandering around down here."  
"I do not wandering, Minerva. I am not a child with nothing to do." She cocked a stern eyebrow. "Well then, what were you doing?_" 'Wandering'_ he thought with a mental grimace, but he instead, went with a colder response. "Was there something in particular you wished to speak with me about, Professor?" he countered, holding back a sneer.

"Yes, I wanted to address the circumstances, of one of my students whom you have recently had the privilege of–" She began, only to be interupted by his snort. "Miss Granger, I presume?" he broke in.

The thin line of Minerva's mouth became thinner, and Severus snickered inwardly. "Yes. Miss Granger, indeed." She replied, mouth returning to normal thin-ness.

"And what, exactly, is it that you wanted to address about Miss Granger's circumstances?"He said cooly, with an air of _I could be doing something much more fasctinating...  
_This air didnt go unnoticed, and he was favoured with a glare that needed work before it would intimidate him.  
"I merely wanted to bring to your attention that — well, I am sure you are aware of how the workload tends to pile up… some of the students — Miss Granger in particular — are, in my opinion, already biting off a bit more than they can chew, I thought you might consider–"  
He sneered, his best yet of the morning, and said "Easing up on your poor protégé? Not on your life, Minerva. You know very well that I will do no such thing."  
The stern witch made no response, but Severus could very nearly feel her cracking the stone wall from the exertion of her glare.

"The Order need the potions, and she will earn her Masters as well," he continued, "She will be prepared to put forth the work. I'm hardly just going to hand her a recommendation without–"

"Severus," Minerva snapped, her wand-worn fingers flexing — as though she were itching to place them around his neck. Her nostrils flared as she snapped "I am not implying that you should just hand her anything. For Merlin's sake, I am merely asking you to be considerate of her health. If not for the Order, I would not allow this." She gave her head a frustrated shake. "There are simply not enough hours in the day, Severus, and she is still only a child–"

"Who has all the appearance of being perfectly healthy. Minerva, I demand you not to attempt to tell me how to teach or tutor any of my students again — no matter how horrendous you belive the workload will be. She is my student, and in my class you have no say."

"De-Demand?!" she stuttered in furious disbelief. "Sure you don't think Miss Gr—"

"I have never approached you about how you teach your students. What you should change, or add. Is it so much to ask that you leave me to my own class as well? Or do you have a higher rank of teacher than I do, as you teach a _different_ subject?" Severus quirked an eyebrow. "No, Minerva, I will not change my lesson plans for Miss Granger, or any other students. Life is hard, and they will come to terms with that quickly. No doubt with my lessons, they will reach the conclusion quickly, and possibly use the matter in their heads for brains, as Mother Nature intended. If you would be so kind as to tell Miss Granger that she is required to write an essay on the origin of Occlumency and Legilimency?"

McGonagall stared at him for a moment, and failed to respond. She did however, sputter a great deal. He was correct that children who learn early on that life is dificult, that he knew. Of course she would pass on the message. She needn't be so rude about the way he wanted to do things in his _own classroom. _

He knew she was realizing there was nothing she could possibly say to convince him otherwise. In fact, she had probably only succeeded in fareing things worse for poor Hermione by bringing to his attention the fact that he legally could torture her into an early grave. relishing the thought , he turned to her again.

"Is that all you wished to discuss, Professor?" Severus said abruptly. "As much as I love our little chats, I do have other places to be."  
His mind flew to Miss Grangers' lesson the nest day, and he inwardly sighed.

Minerva shook her head again and turned to go. "Why do I bother?" she muttered, no doubt hoping he would remain ignorant to her rudeness. But as she walked away, he found himself to loathe to let Minerva away with such a flawless victory. "Happy wanderings, Severus," she said loudly over her shoulder. He growled, and nearly smiled as she grumbled about 'imposible dungeon bats.'  
So the less than desired title _was_ earned for a reason.

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"Are you listening at all Miss Granger? I said over _there."_ Hermione growled, and looked at the desk Severus was gesturing to. The heavy boxes in her arms wobbled dangerously as she worked her way down the stepladder. Reaching the bottom, she glanced worriedly up at the top box to make sure that none of its contents were threatening to fall out before slowly beginning her box-laden journey to the farthest desk from her in the room. Professor Snape's desk.

"Back...A little mo-now, your too far. Are you paying attention at all? I said back, and to the right. I wasnt aware that you had a different right opposed to anyone else."  
Hermione growled in frustration. If she hadnt been to focused on avoiding a nasty fall, she would have fired back a retort. Instead, biting her tongue, she listened to her professors snarky, yet slightly helpfull instructions.  
He did, however, fail to tell her when to stop.  
She sqeaked as her back made contact with his desk, and turned as she heard an amused chuckle begind her. Upon turning though, her eyes blazing, the professor seemed as intent as ever on his work, his face blank as a stone.

Eyes narrowed in suspicion, Hermione kept from commenting. Instead, she dumped the heavy boxes onto Severus' desk with such force that his red ink bottle upset itself all over his papers. She watched, horrified, as it emptied its contents before rolling off the side of the desk and shattering into about a million pieces on the floor. Hermione gasped and bit her lip, looking fearfully over at Snape, expecting a thunderous reaction, but, to her great surprise, he didn't even appear to have noticed anything at all.

She watched, eyes wide, as red ink spilled across the parchments strewn on her professors desk. He wrote still, seeming to not notice the ink soaking into the wood of his desk, and into the papers.  
"Professor?" she asked quietly, anger with his directing forgotten. He shook his head at her slightly, and continued writing.

She made a noise of irritation, and looked at the now almost completely ruined parchment. There was a streak of red trailing through the path he was writing. He ignored it, and continued, red ink trailing behind the quill point.  
"Professor?" She asked timdly again. This time, he didnt even shake his head, or aknowledge her in any way.  
She tentitivley put out a hand, and allowed it to hover over his shoulder, not quiet able to will herself to touch him.  
"Professor Snape? Professor? Theres ink everywhere... Can you hear me? Are you listening? Professor Snape?! Can't you see the ink? Professor! Are you listening?Hey, professor! Pro–"

Hermione awoke with a start, the bright, morning sun shining directly in her eyes. She groaned, rolling over and burying her head beneath her pillow.

* * *

Harry yawned, walking down the spiral staircase. He paused and listened, as he heard the familiar sound of a furiously scratching quill. Cocking his head curiously, he listened harder, then lept the last two stairs. Having a hard time believing that anyone would be up so early, writting that fast, he peeked around the corner into the dimly lit common room, only to be met with a very familiar sight:

Hermione sat in her favourite squishy armchair, nearly buried beneath a mountain of loose parchment. Her face was hidden by the dusty pages of an enormous text book, and as usual, she seemed to be taking notes. Holding her place on the page, Hermione turned to scribble something down on the roll of parchment she had balanced carefully on the arm of the chair.

Harry cleared his throat and Hermione jumped in surprise, poking a hole through the parchment with her quill.

"Her-Her-Hermione,"Harry said, failing to stifle a yawn, "Why up so early?"

Hermione sighed and banished the parchment she had just ruined, then pulled out a fresh one and rerestarted her task. "Homework," she said simply, after a pause.

"On Monday morning?" Harry sighed, and gave his fellow Gryffindor an odd look. "Hermione Granger, you couldn't possibly have left something to the last minute now, could you? Even _Ron's_ finished all his work…which actually doesn't make sense because he usually copies off–"

"Me. Yes, he's done. But this isn't really _homework_ homework – I mean it _is_ homework – but – well, it's from Professor Snape. It's for those extra lessons I told you about. For some reason he's made McGonagall pass me on a message. She told me last night, and something else something about 'life is hard' – I don't know. He's probably just moody...er than usual because the holidays are coming and he won't be able to boss me around for a few weeks."

Harry made a noise of disgust. "Your better than this, why are you taking this attitude from him?" He walked over and attempted to peer over Hermiones' shoulder. Being waved away, seeing that he was fighting a losing battle, Harry finally eventually gave up and plopped down on the ground next to Hermione's chair with a tired sigh. "So what's the git making you do?" he finally asked, wishing he could turn back time to when he was back into bed.

Hermione finished a sentence with an angry scribble. "It's insane!" she said, Throwing her quill across the room. "McGonagall said he says I have to 'research' my lessons – even when I already _have_, – but all this is, is just re-writing the text into different words. I have half a mind to just magic up an exact copy of the whole book and telling Snape to shove it!"

Harry grinned and laughed sleepily. "That's the spirit!"

Hermione's demeanor changed almost immediately. Sitting up straighter, "Oh," she sighed, "but I don't want him to think I'm lazy." She snatched up her wand and accioed her quill back into her hand, once again dissapearing into the pages of her book.

Harry shook his head. "Who are trying to impress, Hermione? What are you trying to prove? Everyone in this whole bloody school knows you're the smartest witch that's ever been admitted here. Even Snape knows that, he just likes being a wanker too much to admit it. "

Hermione hid her blush behind a well-timed yawn. "I know that, Harry, but I'm not doing this for anyone but myself. I know it's hard for any Gryffindor that has ever suffered through a class with him to imagine extra time with Professor Snape , but Occlumency will come in handy... Dueling will of course... Potions is actually a very interesting subject, and I'm really hoping i might start to enjoy it. It's exciting and sometimes very dangerous. Besides, if I ever want to go into any sort of work with the Ministry, this will probably be my best choice. They are surprisingly lacking in competent Potions Ma—"

"Well, best of luck." Harry said abruptly, using the armchair to pull himself up. "I'm going back to bed."

Hermione nodded and sighed, too tired to care about being interrupted. "Why did you come down here anyway?" she said as Harry stumbled to his feet, and made his way back towards the stairs. "It's so early..."

Harry just yawned and shook his head. "I have no idea."

**A/N: Oh my goodness, loverlies, it has been so long!  
Forgive me? I had writters block. I've taken a break from my other story, The Way he Does.  
Im starting a new one, SS/OC  
Its a student, a teen, and yes, its going to rock.  
Love me a lot?!**


	3. I'm closer to where I started

**A/N:Loverlies, thank you for the lovely reviews! ****LadyNorth76****: Thanks for overly constructed criticism!  
1)Hermione doesnt like the class, because she has a secret about something. I cant tell you yet, because it would give it away. In the third chapter, she begins to change her mind.  
2)Grammer-Spell check is nonexistent on my computer. The one on this site makes my computer freeze.  
3)Sentence structure- I like my structure, thank you. I write like that because I feel like it expresses me. Im a complicated person, and my sentences reflect me. Thanks for the review, and read again? Maybe I'll change a few things...eventually.**

Lisa-McG-200413, YOU GET A COOKIE!! SIGNED BY HARRY FREAKING POTTER.  
Loves:0

_On a Christmas Day we were mushing our way over the Dawson trail.  
Talk of your cold! through the parka's fold it stabbed like a driven nail.  
If our eyes we'd close, then the lashes froze till sometimes we couldn't see;  
It wasn't much fun, but the only one to whimper was Sam McGee._

Hope dangles on a string  
Like slow spinning redemption  
Winding in and winding out  
The shine of it has caught my eye

And roped me in  
So, mesmerizing,and so hypnotizing,  
I am captivated,I am

Vindicated  
I am selfish  
I am wrong  
I am right  
I swear I'm right  
Swear I knew it all along  
And I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well  
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

**A/N:To those actually enjoying this story, I COMMEND YOU!! Cookies for all!  
Quotes of the day-**I would rather lick the inside of a city bus...  
Women are like fucking ninjas'. They take take their katana, and slash us...then they disappear into the night...

Question of the chapter- Who woke up early, and met up with Hermione?  
Answer, and get a double chocolate fudge nut cookie in my next note dedicated to you! :)

* * *

Hermione raised a shield charm barely in time. Severus spell whizzed through the air, and was deflected by Hermione's invisible bubble.  
Shaking and sweaty, she threw back an _Expelliarmus_, which he blocked, almost lazily. He held up a hand, and she stopped, panting and furious.  
"Discipline your mind, Miss Granger. Anger gets you nowhere." His voice rang through the dungeon, and reverberated off her eardrums, heightening her anger.  
Control it? She was trying, but he would throw comments. Little things.  
_The Dark Lord isn't relaxing, and neither are you! Diffindo! Blocked.  
Stand up and fight like you should. No one will give you time to stand! Reveslo! Blocked.  
GET UP AND BLOCK ME FOR ONCE, YOU PATHETIC BOOKWORM! IMPEDIMENTA!!  
Discipline your mind, Miss Granger. Anger gets you nowhere.  
_  
"SHUT UP!" She yelled, shaking and furious. His eyed widened momentarily, only to close halfway as his face formed a sneer. "Ten points from Gryfindor." He said in a silky voice. Hermione balled her fists, and held back from punching him in his overlarge nose.  
She stood, swaying on her feet, ready to strike if he uttered another word, when suddenly, a brilliant idea occured to her.  
She was a prefect.  
She could take points.  
She would take points. Nearly laughing now, through her anger, she smiled, and said "Ten points from Slytherin."  
He looked aghast, and scowled at her. "Fifty points from Gryfindor, you insufferable-"  
"One hundred points from Slytherin." Hermione smiled at her professor as his face twisted in fury. "DO NOT MOCK ME, YOU INSOLENT-"  
"Would you care to make it two hundred points from Slytherin?" She asked sweetly.  
He growled, and she saw him clench his fists, knowing he wanted to hit her. "Three. Hundred. Points. From Gryfindor."  
"Two hundred points from Slytherin. Three Hundred and sixty points to Gryfindor."

He glared, and said, in a voice so dangerously low she could barely hear him "Get. Out."  
Hermione shrugged. She had potions class with him in ten minutes. "I have class anyways."  
Severus swore, and picked up his wand."GET OUT!"  
"Yes, _sir..."_ She said, dropping her voice lower, and enjoying watching him squirm. With that, she turned, and flounced out of the room.

* * *

Severus sat st his desk, surveying his class, with a look of disdain on his face.  
_'I hate teaching.'_ He thought to himself.  
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Miss Granger, yet again, giving instructions to that pathetic weasel of a boy, Longbottom.  
Longbottom, however didn't seem to be heeding her advice, because a few seconds later, a thick electric blue liquid poured out of the top of his cauldron, and onto his hands.

For some strange reason, he had managed to change a sleeping draught, into a concoction that made boils sprout upon whatever it touched.  
Miss Granger had moved, apparently seeing the damage soon enough to save herself.

So there Longbottom sat, covered in boils, cowering under Severus' gaze, and whimpering in either fear, or pain.  
He tryed desperatly to banish the cauldron, but because of the state of his hands, he looked like he was waving off a rather annoying fly.

Severus huffed in annoyance, and stood. The whole class fell silent, and turned to watch Longbottoms demise.

"Detention, Mister Longbottom." He began, in a dangerously low voice.  
" Also...fifty points, I think." He continued, he voice deadly quiet."From Gryfindor, for your lack of ability to turn two ingredients into a potion. Two, Mister Longbottom, is not a big number. But pardon me for thinking you might be able to count past it."  
Neville cowered under Severus' gaze, even though he was still standing at the front of the room.

Severus fixed that, and strode to the back of the room. Neville whimpered, and stuttered "I-I'm S- sorry sir..."  
This made Severus quite annoyed. Why was the boy apologizing?  
"Do not appologize, you idiot boy. To the hospital wing."  
Neville valiantly attempted to pick up his bag, and failed many times, before Miss Granger whispered " I'll get it to you later."  
Neville nodded greatfully, and fled from the room.  
The Slytherins roared with laughter, while the Gryfindor's shot him murderous looks.

Severus now rounded on Hermione, circling her workstation. Ever since the lesson beforehand, he wanted to squeeze his hands around her neck.  
"While your potion is...adequit, I must ask you to keep your nose out of Mister Longbottoms cauldron." He spoke to her quietly, so the class had to lean forward to catch his voice.  
"Twenty points from Gryfindor, for your lack of self control. Keep your know-it-all mouth shut, and get to work Miss Granger, or you will lose much more than house points."  
Hermione, who had been quiet this whole time, finally spoke. "You are a cruel man." She said softly, her eyes filled with anger, her face red.  
Her mouth was clenched, and he could tell she was trying desperately to hold back much more than that sentence.  
"Detention, Miss Granger. Tonight, at eight O'clock. If you are even a second late, I will make it a weeks worth. I will not hesitate to make your life miserable." He said, with obvious satisfaction of the fact that he could make a pathetic little Gryfindor this angry.

She looked at him, and he was slightly shocked by how much hatred he could see in her eyes. He had pushed her too far.  
She leaned forward, and spoke softly, her voice filled with malice.  
"Too late. My life has been hell ever since you walked into the door of this classroom." The class gasped, and leaned in a little farther.

Severus was both shocked, appalled, a little hurt, and angry at the way he was being spoken to.  
"One hundred points from Gryfindor." He said, towering over her desk.

She merely looked at him, and smiled, a very evil smile. She glanced down at the head girl badge pinned to the front of her robes.  
Then, she turned, and looked at Harry. He too, was red in the face, and his friend Ron, seemed to be holding him back, as he cut his ginger root.  
Her next actions created a feirce anger in Severus's chest.  
She stood, and looked Severus in the eye, before she turned, to Harry, and bent over his cauldron.  
"One hundred points to Gryfindor, Harry, for cutting your Ginger root correctly."  
Harry grinned at Hermione.

Before Severus could say another word, she turned.  
"And one hundred points from Slytherin, Professor."  
He shook his head, appaled at the way he was being spoken to.  
But anger and curiosity battle, and finally he had to ask "What for, miss Granger?"  
She looked at him, rage, malice, and pain on her face."For being an insolent git."  
He looked at her, baffled, and enraged. He forced his blood to stop boiling so, and said softly, with danger, ice, and anger in his tone;"Sit. Down.Miss Granger.Now." She smiled sweetly at him, mocking him, and said "Yes professor"  
She sat.  
"Stay after class, Miss Granger." He said softly, fighting the urge to throttle the bushy haired twit.  
"Yes sir."

He walked back to his desk, throwing menacing looks at everyone who dared meet his gaze.  
Thankfully, he made it to his desk without killing anyone.  
"GET TO WORK" He roared, when he realized everyone was staring at him.  
There was a collective jump, and everyone resumed stirring, chopping, and chattering.  
He sat at his desk, and glared at the students who were seemingly enjoying themselves.

Moments later, the bell rang.  
Severus readied himself, and watched the students file out of the dungeon classroom.  
He sat for several minutes, silently. He watched Hermione flip through a textbook.  
Finally, he spoke."Miss Granger, what possessed you to act that way in my class?"

She looked up, and smiled. Then, she said" Well, professor, you were rude to Neville. He sat there, hurt, and you, with your idea that you are better than everyone else, mocked him, and sent him away, without a care."  
He nodded, and said" It is my choice how I teach my classroom."  
"It is my choice how I react to it."She replied simply, looking at him, almost smiling at him.  
"How dare you defy my point taking? Again!?" He asked.  
"I didnt defy it. I thought Harry cut his root well enough to receive one hundred points for it."  
He sneered at her, and she grinned wickedly.  
"Ten points from Gryfindor." He snarled, hoping to get her angry again.  
"Ten points from Slytherin."She stated simply.  
He growled."Ten points from Gryfindor"  
"One hundred points to Gryfindor. Twenty-five points from Slytherin." She said.  
"You wicked girl." He spoke softly.  
She smiled at him."You have pushed me too far. For seven years, I have been under your teaching, and for seven years, I have wanted to slap the smug, self righteous look off your face."

He was infuriated.  
He had had enough.  
"GET OUT!"He yelled.  
She sat, unflinching, waiting for...more?  
"No." She said.  
"Miss Granger... get out. Now."  
"Not until you apologize."  
"Why should I do that?"  
"Because I deserve an apology"  
Fine. She would get her stupid little apology.  
"I'm...sorry. NOW LEAVE." He shouted. She stood, and came up close to him. He didn't move.  
She stood barely inches from him.  
He could feel something strange building in his core. Something he had never felt. She came closer, just a breath would touch them together.  
She leaned towards him, and a trace of panic flashed through him. She learnt beside him, and whispered in his ear " Thank you." Her breath tickled his ear, and he felt dizzy.

With that, she backed away, and was gone.

Severus sat at his desk, confused, and now nursing a very odd feeling.  
She had nearly touched him. She knew what she was doing. He wanted to touch her, for a breif second.  
It had been a long day.  
And he so did hate Gryfindors.

**A/N: Bonjour, I would like to come out of your nose. Love it?  
So I'll remove the cause.  
But not, the symptom.**

**Review it baby's. **


	4. Chasing After You

**A/N:Loverlies,Thank you for the awesome reviews! I love the suppport. I'm hooked on the rocky horror picture show, and im listening to Sweet Transvestite.  
Mmmm, Tim Curry in a corset. Just does something for me. Lol.  
**

_And that very night, as we lay packed tight in our robes beneath the snow,  
And the dogs were fed, and the stars o'erhead were dancing heel and toe,  
He turned to me, and "Cap," says he, "I'll cash in this trip, I guess;  
And if I do, I'm asking that you won't refuse my last request."_

Everytime I try to fly, I fall,  
without my wings,  
I feel so small.  
I guess I need you baby.  
And everytime I see,  
you in my dreams,  
I see your face, its haunting me,  
I guess I need you baby...

**A/N:To all reviewers: Vanilla and mocha frappe's for all!  
Quotes of the day-Lets eat some mozarella, ella, ella, Cheese, cheese cheese...  
Hey Snape, you cooking a geek soup?  
LOOK AT ME, IM LUCIUS AND I LOOK LIKE A PIMP! -smack- Ouch.  
Well, shut up next time.  
Question of the chapter:  
Why did Hermione give Harry One hundred points?  
**Answer, and get a double chocolate fudge nut cookie in my next note dedicated to you! :)

NOTE: THIS CHAPTER IS PARTIALLY RIPPED FROM JK'S CHAPTER - OCCLUMENCY  
REVERSE ROLL: HERMIONE  
LOVEIT

* * *

Hermione quietly slipped intp Severus' office. Wishing she was back in charms, with Harry and Ron, she sighed, and looked around.  
The room was shadowy and cold. The walls were lined with jars full of peculiar ingrediants most of them slimy looking. Jars of colourfull potions lined the cabinets behind the desk. In one corner stood a store cupboard she had once broken into and stolen from. Thinking about it, she felt both victorious and guilty. In the other corner, stood a large stone basin, with and odd silvery substance whirling about inside it. Looking closer, she saw runes and symbols lining the sides. Wondering what on earth it was, she started when Severus' cold voice rang out.  
"Shut the door."  
She did as she was told, tired of arguing with the man. When she urned back into the room, Severus was standing over the large basin, staring into its contents. She watched him stare into the silvery substance, the light of it reflecting off his eyes. Almost fascinated, she took in a few details. The way his neck curved, the whiteness of his skin contrasting with the bold darkness of his hair. Even the way his chest rose and fell with each steady breath. "You know why you are here." He stated, bringing her out of her revire. "Albus had asked me to teach you the art of occlumency. Lets hope you fare better at it than keeping your attitude in check."  
She mutely nodded, trying to keep her 'attitude in check'.

"The Dark Lord is adept at the skill of Legilimency, and Occlumency. He is able to...tunnel into your mind, finding your worst fears and using them, to turn you."  
"He can read minds?" Hermione burst out, unable to keep it in.  
Severus sighed, and said "No subtlety, or tact. Although you continue to pay me disrespect, I must ask you give the courtesy of at least callling me sir, or professor. Miss Granger, while you are a smart witch, you can be truly stupid."  
She was about to reply, when he spoke again, in a slightly mocking tone."Only muggles refer to it as 'mind reading. Legilimency is the ability to extract thought sand feelings from ones' mind."  
He paused, apparently savouring the fact of being able to call her tactless, and disrespectfull, before continuing."The mind is not a book, or novel, to be opened and examined, critiqued at your leisure. Thoughts are not written in your mind. The mind is a complex thing. For some."  
He sneered, the thought of Neville plainly etched in his face.  
"The Dark Lord is adept, as I said, and will not hesitate to trap your mind, and twist you."  
He traced a thin finger around his mouth as he stared at her, obviously waiting for an answer. When he got none, he continued.  
"Eye contact is essential." He proceeded to peer at her for several seconds. She felt herself blush under his gaze.  
"Ha-Harry is the one that's in danger...Why do I have to learn this too?" Severus stared at her again. fpr several long seconds, still tracing his mouth with his finger. Hermione watched as the hand circled the pale lips. She was mesmirized by his long, thin fingers, and even more so by his pale lips, the way they were shaped. She briefly wondered if he tasted like anything. She wanted to find out.

Before she could say, do or think anything, he reached inside his robes, and drew out his wand. She eyed it suspiciously, but instead of hexing her, he pressed the wand to his temple. A long strand of silvery substance followed the tip as he pulled it slowly away. His eyes were closed.  
The silver string broke, and fell softly to the surface of the substance already swirling in the bason. Neither liquid or gas, she watched, as he did this three more times.  
Finally, he glanced up at her, and stood straight. He aimed his wand at her, and said "Ready yourself."  
"How do I-?" She tried. Unluckily, she was interupted. By an incantation.  
_"Legilimense."_

_Hermione's unprepared mind instantly flooded with images.  
A red bicylce sitting beside the tabel in a bright sunny kitchen, Hermiones small hands wrapped around the handlebars._

_Her grandfather, lying cold and still on a bed in the hospital, machines and monters whiring and beeping above him._

_Her parents smiling at her through the window of the Hogwarts Express-  
_"Enough."  
Hermione fell to her knees, her whole body shaking and palms damp with sweat. "Get up and try again," Severus said. Hermione nodded and got to her feet. Severus leveled his harsh gaze on her once more. "Clear your mind — it's not that difficult, Granger, I assure you. Legilimens!"

_She was in Hogwarts now, wondering which house she would be in._

_Chattering about something with her new peers, when the head of a qhost popped out from the turkey in the middle of the table._

_Washing dishes as her cousin came up behind her, running a hand up her skirt, pressing her up against the counter as she struggled to get away-_

"NO!" Hermione clenched her jaw, and wrenched her mind from Severus' grasp. She was shaking again, and felt mortified.  
"At least your trying now..." His voice held a hint of appproval. Thankfully, he didnt mention that last memory.  
"Legillimense!"

_The first time she saw him as he banged open the classroom doors and came swirling in with his ominous black attire._

_That horrible thud as he slammed against the wall in the Shrieking Shake when she, Harry, and Ron had hexed him in their third year._

_The time he had looked at her magically enlarged teeth and sneered, "I see no difference"—_

_Hermione yelling at Severus as he ignored her, ink pooling onto his parchment-_

Hermione broke her mind out of Severus' grasp again. She was on the floor. He limbs were shaking, and she felt tears streaked down her face.  
Looking up at Severus, she was suprised to see a slight flicker of emotion pass his features. "Professor...?" She asked, still on the ground.  
The emotion passed, and he said "Up. Once more."  
She complyed, and tried to settle her breathing as she felt him invade her mind again.  
"Legillimense!"

_A man stood across from her, a bottle of whiskey in his hand. He was yelling, but Hermione had her small hands over her ears. She was crying._

_A hand flew to her face, striking her. She fell to the floor, looking up at the man._

_A woman crying, loud crashes. A slit of light. a woman flew past the light, and another scream ripped through the room._

_Pain. Blood. Wanting her mommy._

_The first time she did magic. The man had a woman pinned to the wall by her throat. Hermione was screaming as the woman turned pale, lips blueing.  
Rush of energy, and a spark. The man flew back, and Hermione ran to the woman, who held her, and said "Its okay baby... Its okay-_

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" Hermione screamed. Her eyes flew open, and she saw Severus looking down at her again, a look of worry now plainly written on his pale face. He composed himself quickly, though, because by the time Hermione was up, he had a cool mask of emotionlessness back. By the time she had run out the door, however, he was calling her back.

**A/N: Cliffy? Sorry guys, but its like... quarter after two, and Im exaustified!  
Two chapters in one day does that to you.  
Love you all-  
Lady knownothingatall.  
Ps: REVIEW!  
Crumpets and tea for all!  
**


	5. I'm falling even more in love with you

**A/N:Hello darlings. To all my reviewers, thank you for being so supportive, and leaving nice things for me to read.  
So sorry for the long wait, I'm remodling my bathroom. Just moved out on my own!  
Let us eat cake!  
-Maniacal laughter-  
**

_Well, he seemed so low that I couldn't say no; then he says with a sort of moan:  
"It's the cursed cold, and it's got right hold till I'm chilled clean through to the bone.  
Yet 'taint being dead—it's my awful dread of the icy grave that pains;  
So I want you to swear that, foul or fair, you'll cremate my last remains."_

Sweet emotion  
Sweet emotion

I pulled into town in a police car  
Your daddy said I took it just a little to far  
You're telling me things but your girlfriend lied  
You cant catch me cause the rabbit gone died  
Yes it is

You stand in the front just a shaking your ass  
Ill take you backstage, you can drink from my glass  
I talk about something you can sure understand  
cause a month on the road an Ill be eating from your hand

**A/N:Have you guys ever heard of blue cheese? IT'S GROSS!  
My snakebites are healed, and I look pimp-pin'!**

**Quotes of the day-  
Did you shoot that deer?  
Nope...He ran into the wall, came right through, and got stuck...There's your sign.  
She was so ugly, she could have trick or treated over the telephone. **  
**  
Question of the chapter:  
What was Hermione first memory?  
**Answer, and get a double chocolate fudge nut cookie in my next note dedicated to you! :)Lisa-McG-200413:Cookie to you!!

* * *

"Miss Granger! Get back here!" Severus' voice rang through the halls, as he ran after Hermione, his cloak billowing.  
She looked back, and ran faster. "No! Go away." She wanted so badly to get away from him, she didn't see the great suit of armor in her way.  
CRASH!!  
She ran into the thing, and toppled over, Severus on her heels. She hit the floor hard, and let out a groan of pain as her shoulder hit the floor, and popped. She could feel the bruise already. She heard a low chuckle, and realized how dumb she must look. She rolled onto her back, and looked up to see Severus staring down at her with an amused smirk on her face. "Are you quiet finished running away? I would like an explanation." He said softly, danger glittering in his black eyes.  
She rolled her eyes. "I ran because I deffinetly dont need you making fun of that part of my life. You make fun of EVERYTHING ELSE!"  
She had started quiet calmly, but by the end, her voice rose into a frustrated shout. Severus simply stood with a amused smirk on his face.  
She realised she was still on the floor, and carefully picked herself up, trying not to move her shoulder much. "If you will excuse me, I'm going to the hospital wing." She made to move, but Severus stood in her way. He glared at her, and she returned it with fervor.  
"Your lessons are not over, Miss Gra-"  
"GET OUT OF MY WAY!" She yelled, wanting to push past him. She couldn't though, and felt anger boil as he said "Twenty points from Gryfindor."  
Glowering, she said "Well...if you wont let me go... can you heal me at least?"  
He sighed, dramatically, and said "Come."

* * *

Hermione looked around, half torn between disgust and fascination. Severus had led her to a small room off the side of his office. The room, however dark, was lined with jars of slimy things, glowing things, moving things. If it weren't for her needing to be healed, she would have left. Unfortunatly, that wasn't the case, so instead of speaking, she shut her eyes from sight of the jarred creatures.  
Severus wasn't nice, no doubt about that. But he was helping her, so there must be something he was. Helpful?  
Maybe, but Hermione doubted it.  
"Hold still." Severus muttered. He waved his wand, and her shoulder felt cool. She looked down, and saw her sleeve completely gone. She was about to protest, when he said "I will fix it." He summoned a jar, and she watched it float across the room, and into his hand. It was a dark red substance, looked a lot like blood. "Its not." He spoke before she could ask him. She nodded mutely. Apparently talking wasn't necessary.

"Now, Miss Granger, care to explain?" Severus asked as unscrewed the jar with his long fingers. She watched his hands for a few seconds, the cleared her throat. "I..uh..."  
"You...?"  
"Sh." She cleared her throat again, and he chuckled, a low sound reverberating off the walls.  
"I...you..."Why was this so difficult?  
"Now its you and I?" He raised en eyebrow. She was startled by the words, but remembered what they were talking about, and shook her head.  
"You always mock me, and...make fun of me, so I just didn't want..." She trailed off lamely, face burning.  
He sighed, and said "Why on earth would I make 'fun of you' in that aspect? Your childhood, it seems, is not all that different from mine."  
She gaped at him, and he said "Close your mouth, you silly girl, you look like a fish."  
She couldn't help it. The way he had told her that had her giggling at him. He started at her with a dazed expression. "What are you laughing at?" He demanded.  
She snorted, and clapped a hand to her mouth, still giggling. She couldn't, for the life of her, figure out why she was laughing at something so stupid, much less snorting on her professor. The prospect of snorting on Snape had her laughing harder. She looked up, and found he had backed away, and was now quietly staring at her from the shadows. She slowly gained control of herself, and said softly "I..."  
"Again with that?"  
She waved him off, and said "Sorry. Sometimes I laugh like that for no reason."  
He nodded, and said "This might burn a little." He dipped his long, slim fingers into the blood red goop. After coating the, he applied it to her shoulder. Of course, she was too busy letting him slowly massage her shoulder, to notice the slight burning. His fingers flew along her skin, and she had the desire to let him massage her somewhere else...  
Ew. She wasn't really thinking that...was she? Maybe she was...  
Ew. No.  
Despite her thoughts, she leaned into him a little, and getting the hint, he applied more pressure. She closed her eyes, and relaxed.  
For a while, she sat there while he massaged salve into her shoulder, nearly completely relaxed.  
Her shoulder felt alright, better than it had before, so she said "That...feels good." She heard him chuckle, and his fingers stilled. "Well, Miss Granger, it seems your healed. And relaxed?"  
She nodded. What was he getting at? "Picture something. Anything calming." She heard. What calmed her down after a fight with a friend? Her favourite thing was sitting near a fire.  
Fire? The common room fire? That always relaxed her. She pictured the fire. The warmth. "Have it?" She heard.  
Nodding, she relaxed more. "Now, when you feel me try to enter your mind, I want you build the fire higher, and imagine a box with all the things you want to keep from me in it. Place the box on one side of the fire. On the other, place a memory of something you want me to see."  
Hermione nodded, dimly aware of him speaking. She felt a brush on her mind, an odd feeling. She imagined placing logs in the fire, and it engulfing them , burning higher. The box had pictures, and memories, all sorts of things in it, she kept it behind the fire. On the other side, she thought of the first day she met her professor, when he strode in, robes billowing, sneer and all.

She felt a stronger push, and the fire was doused with water. The presence had a face, felt like Severus. He looked at the memory about himself, and laughed. She felt him leave, and opened her eyes. Staring up at him, she felt a flush of embarrassment. Why that memory?  
Internally shrugging, she stood slowly, and gingerly rotated her shoulder. It felt better, quiet a bit, she looked at Severus."Thank you..."  
He merely inclined his head.  
"It seems that you have mastered the basic of keeping your mind closed. Why fire?" He flipped his hair out of his eyes.

She smiled, and said "It calms me down..." He nodded, and said "I see." It was quiet amazing, how two words could send a shiver down someones back, when spoken in Severus' deep voice. Hermione internally punched herself, and thought of something.  
"Professor...?" She asked, now somewhat hesitant. He raised an eyebrow. "Yes Miss Granger?" He asked softly, his voice holding an air of 'WHAT?'  
"Uhm..I just wanted to know...whats your...thing that helps you calm down?" She asked, nervously, afraid of getting in trouble for asking a question.  
Surprisingly enough, he said "Water."  
She nodded again, and he clarified "My favourite pastime is swimming." Hermione inclined her head, and said "What about brewing?"  
He chuckled again, that low, dark sound. "After teaching children everyday, you get tired of it." She nodded again.  
There was silence for a few seconds, all that could be heard was Hermiones' breathing, and a spell check quill marking essays on the desk.  
Severus broke the silence however, by conjuring two chairs. "Have a seat, Miss Granger."  
Not up to another argument, she sat.  
He looked at her, his face carefully blank, she could tell he felt like saying or doing something, and his expression schooled. he cleared his throat. "I need to ask you a few questions."  
Her heart sank. She knew what the questions were about, and she really didn't want to answer them. She nodded anyways. She knew he would just harp on her 'insolence.'  
He regarded her with a slightly softer look. Not a glare, but his eyes had defrosted in the slightest way. It was several moments before he spoke, and it was a...not nicer, but not laced with disdain voice. "I need you to tell me about that memory. Who was that man?"  
She sighed, knowing she couldn't lie. She had been unable to keep him out of her mind ten minutes ago, and she knew he wasn't even trying.  
"My mothers husband. Kevin Beith." She muttered, wishing she was anywhere else. He nodded, and said "Is this still happening?"  
She shook her head, not wanting to speak. He waited, and finally, almost exasperatedly, she said "No."  
"Why did you run away from the lesson after I saw that? He inquired, looking slightly confused. She shook her head, not wanting to explain. He waited again, and she finally gave in, feeling a little frustrated. "No one knows. I don't want anyone to know. Not even Harry and Ron. And you...well...You mock me, and make me feel bad all the time. I thought that once you knew..." She trailed off, feeling awkward, and red faced.  
She looked at him, and he was shaking his head. "Miss Granger, it is really none of your business, but I too had a similar childhood. I would not mock, or ridicule you about it in any way. You need not worry about that." He fiddled with his buttons, as though uncomfortable.  
She nodded, and said "Well...uhm...thank you for the shoulder...and, uh... I-I'm sorry for running out like that."  
He raised an eyebrow and inclined his head. "You may go, Miss Granger. Be at the usual classroom at 8 o'clock sharp."  
She smiled. "Goodbye professor."

* * *

"So, you actually let him touch you?" Harry murmured, carefully keeping his voice low. Hermione nodded, and said "You make it sound like he... uh...well, you make it sound rather inappropriate." From across the table, Ron muttered "Do you have a rash now?"  
The three of them burst out laughing. "No, Ronald, I dont have a rash. It was...well...relaxing. It helped me relax enough that I could somewhat protect my mind." Hermione stated, laughing at the expressions on the two boys faces.  
"Did you just say Snape relaxes you?!" Harry whispered, making a revolted face. Hermione swatted him on the arm.

"Yes, I did. So what?" She said indignantly. Ron shook his head. "Ow 'ere 'a class's?" He said around a piece of bread. Hermione rolled her eyes, and said "Ronald, would you mind terribly if you ah, chew, before you try to talk?"  
Ron flushed, and swallowed."How are the classes?"  
Hermione shrugged. "Not bad. He's annoying, as usual." Harry looked at her, surprised. "I though you have a crush on him?" Ron pretended to vomit into his goblet.  
Hermione felt her face heat up, and said "NO! I do not! He's my favourite teachers, but I don't think I...No, I know I don't."  
Harry nodded, and said "Suuure." Ron rolled his eyes.  
Hermione, however, had another idea. "At least I don't drool over Lav-lav...Won-won, is it?"  
Ron turned reder than his hair, and Harry laughed. Ron glared over a sausage speared on his fork, and said "Stuff it."  
Harry was about to retort, when The Great Hall went quiet. He closed his mouth and settled for a rude hand gesture, that earned him a whack on the back of the head from Hermione.  
The three looked up to the Head Table, and saw Dumbledore smiling at them. The old wizard cleared his throat, and said "I hope you are all enjoying your dinner." He smiled again, eyes twinkling.  
"There are a number of serious matters I would like to address, so you can continue if you wish, but pay close attention."  
Harry shot Hermione a puzzled look, and she shushed him.  
"As you all know, last year, Voldemort made a return. We lost a valuable student, and a great friend. Cedric Diggory." He raised his glass, and the Hall echoed him. When they were finished, Hermione reached behind her, and patted Harry on the knee. He caught her hand, and squeezed her finger lightly, as if to say, 'I'm okay..."  
Harry was, after all the one who saw Cedric die. And everyone who knew him, knew he blamed himself.  
The Headmaster continued, looking serious. " To all students, I heed you a warning. Voldemort, is planning to strike Hogwarts-"  
A murmur broke out, and Dumbledore spoke louder;"But, the wards surrounding the castle are strong enough to protect you, If you stay within boundrys."He paused, and looked around. " To all students that wish to lead full, happy lives, I implore you to stay within the bounds, and listen to the Professors when they warn you. Thank you. Now, Mr Filch wishes to remind..."  
Hermione turned to Harry. "What is going on?" She whispered. Harry shrugged, looking sad. "Oh, Harry..." Hermione murmured. He looked up, eyes shinning. "I'm...Sorry, I-I have to..." he didn't finish, but instead, pushed away from the table, and left the Great Hall.

Ron glanced at Hermione, and whispered "Where d'he go?" Hermione blinked. "He's still upset about Cedric..." Ron nodded, and before he could reply, the Great Hall burst with talking and laughing.  
Hermione sighed, and smiled at Neville, who had sat beside her. "Where's Harry?" He asked, looking slightly shocked. he too had heard the speech.  
"He wasn't feeling well."She lied. Neville nodded, and loaded his plate with chicken and potatos'. Hermione bent, and pulled a textbook on Occlumency out of her bag. She had stopped by the Library on the way to dinner, and taken out some books on powers of mind.  
She heaved the giant book onto the table, and ignoring Ron's gaping expression, she buried her nose in the pages.

"_The term Occlumeny is meant to define the power of excluding (Occluding)  
Your mind from others. It involves finding a median (Something that is  
calming when you focus on it) And using it to clear your mind.  
Examples of such fixations include:  
Water  
Earth  
Fire  
Sky  
Family  
Ones' own magic  
Air  
Nature  
Etc._

To properly maintain the balance of calm, you must not only control such  
fixation, but focus on breathing. Witches and wizards have been  
known to pass out While Occluding, because they hold their breath for  
extra concentration. This method doesn't work, and is known to actually  
weaken Occluding defenses. To properly Occlude, you must first understand  
The term-  
Occlusion is not reading minds, as many muggles refer to it as. The mind  
Is not something that can be read, opened at will. Your thoughts are not  
Imprinted on your mind, and able to be read. You must first understand  
that minds are not toys. They are complex, many layered-"

"Hermione?" Ron muttered. "What?" She asked, flipping the page. "' staring at you..." Ron shot back, sounding disgusted.  
Hermione glanced up at the head table. Sure enough, he was looking at her with an odd expression on his face. They caught each others gazes, and he nodded. She nodded back, and smiled as Ron pretended to cry."Why? What is wrong with- Never mind. I have to go. Quidditch practice. We have game tomorrow, you coming?"He stood and stretched. Hermione smiled,and nodded. "Sure." She picked up her book, and laughed as he shot Severus a venomous glare, that was heartily returned.  
Burying her nose into the book again, she lost herself in its pages, for an hour.

* * *

When Hermione glanced at her watch, it was seven thirty. Sighing, she stood, and packed away her book, and her notes. She looked around, and realized that other than herself, and a few Hufflepuffs, the Great Hall was empty.  
She laughed at herself, and slung her bag over her shoulder, strolling out of the hall. She opened the great wooden doors, and began to walk up the Entrance hall steps, when she heard snickering behind her. She turned, and saw Draco Malfoy and his cronies, Crabbe and Goyle stood in a corner, bent over something. Hermione stopped, and edged closer, hoping to hear something, but Malfoy straightened, and muttered something about "That Mudblood Granger'll be sorry..." A sense of slight dread settled in Hermiones stomach, and she turned feeling sick. Making her way up to the Gryfindor Common room, she tried to think of what she would be sorry for. She had slugged Malfoy in third year, but he had plenty of chance to get back at her for it. Sighing, she stood on a moving staircase and waited for it to connect with the landing.  
She stepped close to the portrait of the fat Lady, and mumbled "Redundance." The fat lady nodded. "There's a lot of that going on lately." She swung forward, and Hermione crawled though the entrance to the commonroom.  
Glancing around, she grinned at Ron and Harry who sat in a corner, playing wizards chess. Obviously Ron was winning, because Harry let out an exasperated moan, and Hermione saw a knight knock a queen directly off the board.  
Smiling, she left the two to their game, and went to wash up, and change into muggle clothes for her potions lessons.

"Hello Crookshanks." Hermione murmured, smiling at her fuzzy orange feline. The cat purred, bottle brush tail in the air. Hermione giggled, and walked to her dresser. She chose faded, comfortable jeans, and a green and black stripped tee shirt. Shaking her head at the fact that she would look too Slytherin, she changed it to a purple form fitting tee, and threw the green shirt on the bed. She laughed as Crookshanks hissed, and batted at it suspiciously.

Glancing at her watch, she realized that it was ten to. Deciding to hurry up, she grabbed her bag, and was about to walk out the door, when it spilt.  
Quills, parchment, books, and everything else she had went spilling across the floor. She sighed in frustration, and ran to her dresser. She searched frantically for something to transfigure into a bag. She found a hideous pink shirt, and nodded.  
She pullled out her wand, and murmured _"Finilo." _The shirt morphed into an equally ugly bag. sighing she waved her wand again, and her belongings soared into it. Satisfied, she rushed put into the common room. Bidding her friends a quick goodbye, she walked out. "We'll wait up." Ron called.  
Grinning at them, she dashed out the door.

* * *

Hermione made it to the dungeons with less than a minute to spare. She skidded down the hallway, and nearly tripped to a stop. Breathing heavily, she knocked, and listened for Severus to call her in. When she heard nothing, she pushed the door open. She glanced around, calling "Professor?" The second her voice had been issued, a piece of paper flew from the top of the Professors desk, and in front of her face. She took it from the air, and read it.

_Miss Granger-  
Attending to business with the Headmaster.  
I may be a few minutes late, so I have left  
instructions on the board.  
You will be making skele-grow, because  
the infirmary had been informed that  
Potter is playing quidditch tomorrow.  
Our Occlumency lessons may interfere,  
so tomorrow, you are free from that lesson,  
and instead, will be attending the match.  
The headmaster extends his invitation to  
sit in the teachers box.  
Get to work, and dont dawdle. If you manage  
to cause an explosion,  
Be sure to aim your body at a vacant stretch of wall.  
I dont need to clean student from my belongings.  
--SS_

Hermione chuckled, and walked up to the board. She quickly scanned the directions, and, deciding to begin, walked to the store cupboard in the back.  
After gathering the ingredients needed, she walked to her usual desk, and organized the ingredients on the table, in order, so she wouldn't mess them up. When she was confidant they were in the right order, she began to measure carefully.  
She had gotten all but one ingrediant into the cauldron, and had the fire at exactly fifty-seven degrees', as needed, when Severus burst into the room, robes billowing furiously.  
He ignored Hermione, and stalked to his desk, with a large scowl. Hermione decided not to say anything, and measured out her dragon scales.

She dumped them into the cauldron, and became aware that Severus was staring at her, with an odd expression. She looked up, and their gazes locked. It wasn't hostile, nor warm. But all the same, they stared at each other for a few seconds, until Hermione became aware that she was supposed to be stirring her potion. She picked up the stick, and stirred, three times clockwise, twelve times counter-clockwise. She did it four times, as asked, then turned the fire down. Oddly enough, when her fingers brushed the flame, it didn't hurt as it usually would, but tickled. She smiled, puzzled, and set a timer for stirring again.

She looked up again, and saw that Severus had his head in his hands. Confused, she walked quietly to his desk, and sat in the chair across from him. Not knowing if she should, or even wanted to talk, she sat there, waiting patiently for him to look up. She sat there for several minutes in silence, before the timer went off. She got up, and stirred it, wondering it she was the cause of her professor so upset, or tired, or whatever he was. Deciding to wait, she set the timer again, and sat down. This time, he looked up. Anger flared in his eyes. Hermione blinked, confused. It must have shown on her face, because he relaxed a little, and looked away. She decided to try a little, and looked at him. "Professor...?" He looked up. Not expressionless, but not that cool mask he usually wore. He just looked at her, and she, him. For several seconds, their eyes met, and finally, she asked "Have I done something to upset you?" softly.  
He looked puzzled, his brow furrowed for a moment, before saying, in a rough voice "No...I have been away."  
Hermione caught the hint. He had been at a Death Eater meeting. She nodded, and smiled a little. "Okay. You seemed pretty upset."  
He gritted his teeth, the motion not unnoticed. "No, Miss Granger, I am upset, because I ran out of headache potion." He muttered, with a bit of a snap. She nodded, and said "Well...I finished the potion..."  
He nodded."You are dismissed."  
Hermione stood, stretching, and nodded. "It's in the cauldron-"  
"I am aware of that." he snapped. She was slightly taken aback, but brushed it aside. Sighing, she decided that if she were to ever do something dumber than wrestle a blast ended skrewt, it was this.  
"Dobby?" She called. Severus looked up, confused. A moment later, though, he must have realized what was going on, because a house elf wearin at least five jumpers popped into existence. "Yes miss?" The jumpers squeaked. Hermione laughed, and brushed a sleeve away from the top of the pile. Dobby grinned up at her. Hermione bent low, and in a voice barely a whisper, said "can you get me some headache draught?"  
Dobby looked delighted at the prospect of helping Hermione, and nodded."Oh yes, Miss Hermione. Dobby will."  
He cracked out of existence, and Hermione turned to the desk. Severus glared at her. "What reason do you-"  
CRACK!  
Severus flinched at the loud noise, and closed his eyes. He put his head back down, and Hermione accepted the draught from the elf. Dobby bowed low, and disappeared again. Hermione closed her eyes, and conjured a cup of tea. She set both the draught, and tea on the desk, and smiled as Severus looked up. He saw the items, and looked confused. "Why...?" He asked in a puzzled tone. Hermione simply smiled, and turned to leave. She summoned her hideous bag, and opened the door.  
"Miss Granger?"  
She turned, smiling gently. "Yes?"  
"Th...thank you."  
"Goodnight professor. Your welcome."

**A/N: A nice long juicy...chapter.  
What did you think I was going to say?  
What did you...want me to say?!  
Bahm bahm...bambambambambambaaaaam!  
You like? Review me lots, and I'll do it again.  
Porkchopsandwiches!!  
Ways to annoy Severus  
1. Whenever you see him walking down a hallway, quickly press your back against the wall and, when he walks by, look around suspiciously and begin to (loudly) hum the theme song to "Mission Impossible".**

Severus:(thinking) Yes, because that is so mature. Brat.  
Loves you!


	6. Letting Go Of All I've Held Onto

**A/N:Loverlies, never, ever re-do your bathroom. Its horrible, and tiring. Gah. I hate toilets.  
I went to Canada's Wonderland yesterday...Rode the Behemoth like...six times? AWESOME!**

_A pal's last need is a thing to heed, so I swore I would not fail;  
And we started on at the streak of dawn; but God! he looked ghastly pale.  
He crouched on the sleigh, and he raved all day of his home in Tennessee;  
And before nightfall a corpse was all that was left of Sam McGee. _This small heart can get lonely.  
I lose myself inside myself.  
No one can touch you when you're outside staring in.  
Remove myself from this pride race.

Back and forth the struggle consumes us all.  
Trying to keep a level head.  
In the most unsettling of times.

**A/N:I think this story is my favourite...  
My favourite animals, are snakes, and chinchillas'.**

**Quotes of the day-  
Bob Barker should be dead by now, he's just a puppet on strings, comes out all weird...  
When Grammy spins the wheel, every-ones like "Oh, that poor women is going under...Oh no, GRAMMY NOOO!"**

Question of the chapter:  
What was the sixth line in Severus's letter?  
Answer, and get a double chocolate fudge nut cookie in my next note dedicated to you! :)  
Note:This story actually begins in sixth year. The Ministry still doesn't believe Harry about Voldie-shorts.  
Set in October of sixth year. Snape is still potions master, obviously, and a new defense person is here...or back...he he.  
Textbook still in effect.

* * *

"Just a bit of toast? Maybe a sausage? Anything? Come on Harry, you'll need your energy." Hermione wheedled as Harry sat, sipping juice.  
"It''ll give me bad luck." He mumbled. She shook her head. "Why are you so nervous? You've played quidditch here for the past five years. You've never been this bad." Harry shrugged. "First game of the year." Hermione nodded, and gave up, deciding not to argue. She glanced over at Ron, and was pleased to see that he was endlessly stuffing bacon and toast into his mouth. He gave her a thumbs up, and she grinned. He glanced over at Harry, and said "Wha's 'rong mae'?" Hermione smiled. "Chew, Ronald."  
He did, and after swallowing, repeated "Whats wrong mate?" Harry looked up with a brave smile on his face, that was obviously fake. "I havent been feeling well. My... I had a bad dream last night. I feel like somethings bad's going to happen." Hermione drew in a breath. "Maybe you should go to Dumbledore?" Harry shook his head. "No, I cant. This is the first match of the year, and we've worked really hard to get here. If I tell him, he might cancel the match, and even more people will hate me." He finished the bitterly, and glanced at the Daily Prophet sitting in front of him. He glared at the headline "_Potter Claims You-Know-Who Returns, pg 14c."  
_Hermione reached out a sympathetic hand, and squeezed his shoulder lightly. "Don't worry. They'll realize that they're wrong soon, Harry."  
"I hope so." He sighed. Ron grunted through a large mouthfull of potatos', and nodded his agreement. Ron suddenly leaned over, and undid Hermiones' bag. "I need a quill and some parch-"  
"Ronald, get out of my pants!" Hermione said hotly, reaching down to scoop her bag from Ron. Ron gaped at her for a few seconds, turning bright red, before she realized what she had said. Blushing furiously, she explained about the ripped bag, and the hideous pink shirt. When she was finished, the two boys were in stitches, and she was a rather peculiar shade of red.  
Ron gasped for air, and said "Can I look in your...uhm..bag? I need a quill." Hermione burst out laughing again. "Yes Ron, you can look in my...uhh...er...bag?"  
Harry grinned a little. Hermione was about to ask him to eat something again, when Mclaggen came over, and plunked down in between Harry and herself. She sighed in frustration, and leaned over to look at Harry. He was glaring at McLaggan. The moment of Hermiones bag was gone, replaced by annoyance. "So...Potter. I just wanted to let you know that I'm here in case someone decides to...foul it up." McLaggen said with an air of confidence. Harry sighed, and Hermione rolled her eyes. Mclaggen hadn't given up once since the beginning of the year. "I know your here McLaggen, your hard to miss." Harry began in a hard tone. "But Ron makes a perfectly good keeper. Thanks, but we have it covered." He finished with a obviously fake smile, and turned to sip more juice. McLaggen growled. "You'll be sorry. You'll see what I mean, when Weasley here-" he jerked a thumb at Ron, who was glaring as well. "Muddles the match all up." With that, he stood, and stormed off, glaring at everyone who was looking at him.  
Harry snorted, and shook his head. "How one person can be so annoying..." He rolled his eyes. Hermione smiled. "You seem to be feeling better..." She murmured, taking a sip of juice. Harry nodded. " A little...but I still cant shake off the feeling that something is going to happen while we're out there." Hermione nodded, and said "Harry...what was the dream about?" Concern laced her voice.  
He shrugged, and mumbled "I dreamt that we were playing, and oddly enough, you were sitting in the teachers box... dont know why...And four or five Death eaters just...swooped down and attacked everyone...I cant find you afterwards, and then...I get hit with a hex...or curse...don't know. But everything goes dark, and then, I wake up in the Hospital Wing...Odd eh?"  
Hermione nodded shakily. "Uhm...Harry...I uh..." His expression became concerned. "What is it?" She shook her head. "I'm sitting in the teachers box for today's match...Dumbledore invited me..." She felt shaky all over, and took a large gulp of pumpkin juice. harry blanched, and said "But...I...oh Merlin, what if you die?" Hermione snorted and shook her head. " I...Voldemort probably put that in your mind...made you think that so you would muddle up the game?"

Ron snorted, and said "Why would that evil bastard care if Harry won a quidditch game or not?" Harry nodded, and looked at Hermione. "Its probably nothing." He said bracingly. Hermione opened her mouth, but was cut off by McGonagall's voice ringing out through the Great Hall.  
"All Gryfindor and Slytherin players, please make your way to the pitch for warm ups, and changing." Harry nodded, and rubbed his hands together. "Well...righto, I'll...see you after the match." Hermione nodded, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Be careful...okay?" Harry nodded, and Hermione said the same thing to Ron. The ginger-haired boys ears turned a little pink, and he nodded. Hermione sighed, and watched as the two boys walked out of the Great Hall, followed by the rest of the team, and eventually, the Slytherins, who all had rather smug looks on their faces. Picking up a piece of toast, Hermione turned to look at the Head table. She sought out Dumbledore, and smiled when he gave her a large smile, eyes twinkling. Next to him, sat Mcgonagal, who seemed quiet pre-occupied with her toast, and seemed to be carefully looking anywhere but at Dumbledore. Hermione laughed, thinking that Mcgonagal should just come out and tell Dumbledore that she liked him. On her right sat Snape, who had a very sour look on his face, as Treylawney leaned over her armrest on her chair, almost over his, and was talking rether animatedly. He was actually leaning away from her, and seemed to be retraining himself from slapping her. Hermione laughed, and he looked at her. The glare he had on his face intensified, and she laughed harder. She shook with laughter, and he seemed to be contemplating wether or not to jump down from the table, and throttle her.  
'_Keep laughing, Miss Granger, and I don't doubt that boil inducing potion will find its way into your tea."  
_A voice echoed through her mind, and she felt her professor lightly brushing her mind, not invading.More,waiting for...an answer? It was an odd feeling to have someone in her mind.  
'_She's not your type, is she?" _Hemione thought, letting herself picture his face as she thought it.She was barely suppressing more laughter as Treylawny leaned even closer. Snape's face went an odd pale purple, and his eyes widened. He twitched the corners of his mouth a little, and Hermione smiled cheekily up at him. He rolled his eyes, and pulled his wand from his robes. Hermione watched as he touched Treylawney with the tip of it. The wand emitted a spark, and Treylawney jumped backwards, nearly falling out of her chair. Severus straightened, and glared at Hermione once again. It was a good natured glare though, Hermione could tell. She simply smiled, and shook her head.  
They were getting along, she realized. It was odd, getting along with someone you should hate. But she was glad. That meant that all of the trouble with her, Ron and Harry would stop, right?  
Shrugging to herself, she waved at Neville and Luna, who were sitting together, poking at Nevilles Mimblis Mimbletonia. They waved back, and Luna beckoned her over. "How are you, Hermione?" She asked in a dreamy voice. Hermione smiled. Luna was a whisp of a girl, but she was strong. She had helped fight at the ministry last year. "Im okay." Hermione twiddled with the buttons on her pants-bag. Nevillle grinned up at her. "You going to the match Hermione?" He asked, poking at his plant. She nodded, and said "I suppose you two are as well?" they shook their heads. "We're going to the greenhouses to help Professor Sprout. The venus flytraps are infested with nargles." Luna murmured, stroking the mimbletonia. Hermione laughed, and said "See you guys later."  
As Hermione turned to walk into the entrance hall, she had an impulse, and followed it. She turned to the Slytherin table, and met eyes with Draco Malfoy. He smirked at her, like he was saying _"I know something, you dont know, na na na na boo boo."_  
He nudged Crabbe, and the two began to laugh, still looking at her. Getting the creeps, she turned and walked quickly out of the Great Hall, making her way up to Gryfindor tower as quickly as possible.

Colin Creevy was sitting by the fire, developing pictures, with magic solution, when Hermione arrived. She glanced around, and realized that if she didnt hurry up, she would be the only Gryfindor not outside. Dashing to her room, she ran to her dresser, and quickly grabbed her fall coat.  
Deciding to leave her bag in her room, (She wouldnt need anything, it was just a match.) She dashed out the door, and out the portrait hole. She waved to the fat leady as she bolted down the steps, and out the Entrance Hall doors. Just as she was about to walk out onto the front steps, she heard whispering, and turned. Draco was standing inside, on the steps. He was huddled with his cronies again, and as before, all three were bent over something. Draco noticed her, and smiled a wicked smile. She shivered, and decided it was just the wind. Turning away from the great stone castle, she walked quickly towards the pitch.  
-0-0-0-  
"Hello Professor." Hermione murmured, as she arrived at the top step of the teachers box, panting. Dumbldore nodded his greeting, and gestured to an empty seat in front of him. Hermione nodded, and gingerly stepped through the other teachers. She sat down heavily, and imediatly straightened when someone next to her cleared her throat. Professor Treylawny stood next to her. "I'm sorry dear, but your in my seat." Hermione gave her an apologetic smile, and was about to stand, when she felt an iron grip on her arm. "Don't. Move." The person holding her arm hissed, almost silently. Hermione looked up at Professor Treylawny, and said "You can sit here..." She pointed to a seat in front and to the left of her. Professor Treylawny glared, and sat anyways.  
Hermione turned to the person holding her arm, and arched an eyebrow at Severus. "Can I help you professor?"  
He mumbled something, and released her arm. She grinned, and murmured "What? She's not your type?" with a sly grin. He glared at her, and said "No. ten points from Gryfindor."  
"Ten points from Slytherin." She whispered back. His glare softened a little, and she whispered "Who do you think is going to win?"  
He looked at her as though she had an extra head. "What do you think I'm going to say, Miss Granger?" Hermione nodded, and grinned, turning her attention to the pitch.

"Welcome to the first Quidditch match of the year, and what a year it'll be. The Weasley twins-"  
The Slytherin crowd booed and hissed at the name. "Ah stuff it you-" "Jordan!"  
"Sorry Professor. As I was saying, the Weasley twins, excellent beaters they were, have retired to a life as peaceful joke shop owners."  
Severus snorted beside Hermione.  
"Now, to the point, Welcome to the Gryfindor team:  
Team Captain and Seeker, Harry Potter!" The Gryfindor crowd roared loudly "Go, Go Gryfindor! Go, Go Gryfindor!" Harry sailed gracefully onto the pitch, waving and smiling. Hermione noticed that he still looked worried, and waved at him. He grinned at her and gave her a thumbs up.  
"Beaters, Andrew Kirk, and Jack Sloper!" two red clad boys shot out onto the pitch, and did loops around Harry, before settling in position in centerfeild.  
"Chasers, Demelza Robins, Angelina Johnson, a lovely lady from" "JORDAN!" "Sorry Professor Mcgonagall...Anyways, and Katie bell! Call me, Katie?" "JORDAN, FOR MERLIN'S-" "Sorry Professor."  
Hermione laughed as Professor Mcgonagall whacked Jordan on the back of the head with a peice of paper.  
"And finally, Gryfindors' new Keeper, Ronald Weasley, brother of the notorious Fred and George!!"  
Ron sailed out onto the pitch, and looped in and out of the goal posts, before making a stop in the middle.  
Hermione cheered loudly, and Severus scoffed. "Ten more points professor? Show some spirit!" He grumbled, but lifted a hand, and twirled his index finger a few times. "Whooo." He intoned dully. She smiled. "Better than nothing."

"And now, the Slytherin team! Dirty- Sorry professor! Terence Higgs, Team captain, and Seeker.  
Marcud Flint, replaced by Terrance, is now the team keeper!  
Blaise Zabini, and Draco Malfoy, beaters!!  
And finally, thank god- Sorry professor- Chasers, Adrian Pucey, and Vincent Crabbe?! Ugh, well, anyways, thats the Slytherin team, so...GIVE IT UP FOR GRYFINDOR!!" A roar shook the stands, and everyone looked down to Madame Hooch, who was instructing a good clean game, as always.  
The Quaffle flew up into the air, and the snitch was released. Hermione watched as Harry soared above the other players, and began to fly in lazy circles, followed by Terrance Higgs. She glanced over at Severus, who was watching with a bored expression on his face. She sighed, and turned back to the game.  
"WEASLEY SAVES IT!!" The crowd roared as Ron dived wuickly, and caught the Quaffle. He passed to Demelza. Hermione cheered "Go Ron!!" A snort beside her interupted her cheering, and she glared at Severus as he arched an eyebrow. She rolled her eyes, and ignored him.

She was, however startled as Harry called a time out, and flew down shakily. "Oh Harry..." She murmured. She watched as he put a hand to his forhead. Madame Hooch came foreward, and put a hand on his shoulder, bending to speak to him. Severus straightened beside Hermione, and looked quiet focused on Harry. Harry shook his head at Madame Hooch, and mounted his broom again, kicking off. There was a whistle, and the game began. Hermione felt Severus relax a little, and began to watch the game. She looked up and saw that the sky was getting slightly darker. Rain, she concluded.  
Sure enough, only a few minutes after she concluded such things, drops of rain began to pour down, in great, heavy sheets. Hermione sighed, and noticed that the front row, herself and Severus were getting wet. She pulled her mind from the game, and pointed her wand at the front row. The water began to pour off an invisible shield, and she did the same to their row as well. Drying herself and Severus, she ignored his questioning glare, and watched the game.  
Again and again, the keepers saved, and the crowd booed and hissed at the opposing teams. Soon, it was half into the game, and no one had scored a single goal. The rain was getting worse, and Hermione squinted as she watched Harry looking frantically for the snitch. It was, however him signaling for time again, that worried her. He spiraled to the ground, hand clapped to his forehead. Hermione drew in a breath as Professor Dumbledore strode out onto the pitch. _How did he get down there? _Hermione thought. the crowd gasped as Harry sank to his knees, hands both holding his head. Dumbledore ran to him, and put out a hand, resting it on Harry's shoulder. A strange feeling erupted in Hermione, she knew what was going to happen. Turning to Severus, she began to speak quickly. "Professor...they're coming...Harry's going to get hit with a curse...You have to..." Severus was up and gone before she could continue.

She looked down, and saw him running onto the pitch, calling for Dumbledore. Hermione let out the breath she had been holding as he reached the old wizard.  
Then, it happened.

Hermione heard screams, and shouts. She frantically looked around, trying to find Harry, Ron, or Severus. It was too late. She watched in horror as a black figure cast a jet of purplish haze at Harry. He crumpled, and Hermione screamed his name. Her heart beat fast in her chest, and she tried to run.  
She got out of the box, and was running at full speed back to the castle. Students swarmed around her, screaming and crying. Neville and Ron were standing side by side, Luna behind them, and casting hexes and curses at the Death Eaters swarming towards the castle. The sky darkened, and Hermione had her wand in her hand in a second. She cast a protection spell around herself. Or, at least, tried to. Her wand wasnt working, and she flicked iyt harder in a vain attempt to defend herself as a Death Eater flew beside her. "It knows you are a mudblood. Your own wand, deeming you unworthy." The figure cackled, and Hermione recognized her as Bellatrix LeStrange. The woman who killed Sirius.

Before Hermione could do anything, Bellatrix darted foreward, and grabbed her arm. She felt the evil woman squeeze the muscle hard against the bone, and Hermione yelled out in agony.  
She kicked out, and felt her foot conect with something hard. Bellatrix shrieked, and drew back her hand. It flew at Hermione's face instead, and she didn't duck in time. White stars popped behind her tightly closed eyelids. She fought the pain, and remembered something.  
Occlude!  
She took a deep breath, even as she felt a hand on her face again. _Fire. Fire. Fire...BLAZE.  
_Hermione felt a jolt to her wrist, and a much stronger hand hit her. Her eyelids relaxed as the world, and all of its noises collapsed.

Then, she knew nothing. Nothing at all.

* * *

**A/N:Likey? CLIFFYYYY!!Aha! You love it. You know it.**


	7. Im standing here until you make me move

**A/N:Loverlies, I love cliffys! Lol.  
My computer isn't being to friendly right now, but Snapes fixing it. -Squee-  
**

There wasn't a breath in that land of death, and I hurried, horror-driven,  
With a corpse half hid that I couldn't get rid, because of a promise given;  
It was lashed to the sleigh, and it seemed to say: "You may tax your brawn and brains,  
But you promised true, and it's up to you to cremate those last remains."

I know there's something out there  
I think I hear it move  
I've never felt like this before  
I wish you never told me  
I wish I never knew  
I wake up screaming  
It's all because of you

So real these voices in my head  
When it comes back you won't be  
Scared and lonely  
You won't be scared, you won't be  
You won't be scared and lonely  
You won't be scared you won't be lonely

Its all because of you  
I wish you never told me  
I wake up screaming now  
So real these voices in my head  
So real these voices in my head  
I wake up screaming now  
I wish you never told me  
I wish I never knew

**A/N: I like blue Gatorade the best.**

**Quote of the day- Book Seven Spoiler:  
Severus Snape is a virgin.  
LMFFAO  
**

Question of the chapter:  
Who was announced first?  
Answer, and get a double chocolate fudge nut cookie in my next note dedicated to you! :)  
Note:This chapter contains graphic scenes of torture, nudity, and coarse language. If it offends you, dont read it.  
ON WITH THE SHOW.

* * *

A snarling laugh echoed through...wherever she was, as a pair of black boots stood on the stone floor in front of Hermione. Disoriented by the sudden yank of apparation, and the brightness of the fire, Hermione squinted, and tried to see. The image before her eyes swam and wavered like a half-formed mirage. Before she could so much as reach for her wand, she felt herself wrenched to her feet, the hand on her shoulder so strong and uncaring that nails punctured shirt and skin both. It was the same shoulder she had injured running away from Snape, and she squeezed her eye tighter shut as she tried in desperate vain to imagine his gentle touch, instead of this. She was yanked cruelly up against someone tall and very cold, someone whose entire bearing screamed _menace_in a way that not even Snape ever had. Frightened, and in pain, Hermione bucked, flailing, and desperately tried to get a good hold on her wand. She failed, however, and a cold voice said "Now, now, Mudblood. No need to be rude." The fog across Hermione's mind clearing, she saw a sheet of white-blond hair. "Malfoy..." She snarled, trying to sound brave. He simply laughed, and plucked the wand from her clenching fingers.  
She felt his hot breath on her ear, and felt sick as she thrashed. He scoffed, and said "Draco will be pleased to see you. He talks about you all the time. How you're better than him at school. How rude you are to him. My dear...I think I shall let him teach you a lesson in manners."  
Then, it abruptly ended again as she was crushed to him, a sick smell of way too much cologne on the velvet robes she was pressed to.  
A sickening sensation swooped over her as she felt the familiar and unpleasant feeling of disapparation.

It was worse than anything she had ever felt. Hermione was thrown to the floor, and on her hands and knees, threw up everything she had eaten for the past day. Even when there was nothing else, she dry-heaved until she felt she would black out.  
When her stomach had finally calmed to hiccups, she sat up, pulling her knees tight to her chest, and slowly rocked, like she would when she was younger.  
Her body shook, and she swallowed several times to rid herself the odd sensation. Opening her eyes weakly, she saw Lucius Malfoy standing a few feet away. "Are you quiet finished? Draco hasn'tcarried on like that since he was five."  
Aware that she was being taunted into retort, she closed her eyes again, and tried to find the place where the fire was. She didn't know if Lucius was a Legillimense, but she wasn't willing to take that risk.  
As she tryedto build her fire, Lucius' voice grew contemplative. "Of course, Draco comes from decent blood. What can one expect of Mudbloodspawn like yourself? I dare say Severus is right, and it's only luck that's kept you alive until now."  
At the mention of her teachers name, she perked a little, and thought fast. Whatever happened, whatever was _going_to happen, she knew she couldn't risk betraying her teacher's true allegiances. Just so much as a thought out of place could do it. Quickly, she brought up sour memory's, things that just...bothered her about Severus.  
_"I see no difference," . . . Hermione bursting into tears . . .  
"Do shut up, Miss Granger...  
His silky voice laced with malice, Hermione wanting to pummel his large nose in._

"What, nothing to say?" Lucius mocked, stepping closer, his heeled boots clicking on the stone floor. "Nothing? Don't worry. I still owe you for hitting my son in his third year. A Malfoy never leaves his debts unpaid."  
That said, he reached down, and backhanded Hermione, his emerald ring leaving a slash on her cheek. She ignored the pain and began rocking back and forth. _Fire. Firefirefire...Fire._  
Malfoy raised his hand again, and ugly look on his face, when a chiding voice said "Later Lucius..." Hermione looked up through her lashes, and saw Bellatrix had apparated into the room.  
"Indeed," Lucius drawled, dropping his hand. An expression of disgust crossed his pompous features, and he angled his wand at the floor, murmuring a rather bored sounding Scourgify. He then, pointed his wand at Hermione. Expecting Legilimens, Hermione dove inside her mind again, and stayed in the fire, but Malory merely repeated the cleaning spell to mop up her clothes. He did nothing to stem the flow of blood trickling down Hermione's cheek, mixing with her tears.

Another incantation was murmured, and the wall behind her opened to reveal a small space. "Your room, Mudblood. Surely, the Dark Lords hospitality is acceptable against the dazzle of that horendous castle?" Bellatrix's loud, obnoxious laugh echoed through the room.  
Lucius yanked her arm again, and she sunk lower into the heat. Fire. He laughed cruelly as he pushed her inside the room. She cried out, despite herself as she hit the stone floor again. Elbows now bloody, she curled up in a ball, mentally chanting_ Fire. Fire fire fire. Firefirefirefirefire . . ._

Hermione's mental barriers didn't last long though. She was jarred from the fire when she heard Lucius's speak again.

"Goodbye, Mudblood."

Hermione watch numbly as Lucius waved his hand, and the stones melded into a wall before her. _Time to take stock,_ She thought, deciding not to waste time. Not that there was much to take stock _of_. This was more a cell than a room. One bare light bulb swung above her head, emanating from it. That meant that she could see despite the absolute lack of caring to, but there were no windows, no doors, no openings of any kind, just solid wall, and one bare light bulb.  
Stooping, Hermione began to knock on each of the bricks of the walls, and ceiling, looking for a hollow brick. When she found none, she slumped, defeated. Anger boiled inside her, and she kicked a wall. Hard. Then harder, over and over. Screams ripped from her throat, and she couldn't tell wether or not it was crys of help, or anger. She raised up onto her knees, and started to pound the walls with her fists, still screaming, tears streaming from her eyes, the salt seeping into the cut on her cheek.  
Hermione screamed and screamed, not words, but not nonsense. She screamed names, over and over again. She screamed for Harry, almost lost her speech when she began for Ron. growing dizzy, she slumped. The last name she screamed, echoed through the room, bouncing back at her, mocking her.  
"SEVERUS...PLEASE...SEVERUS."

* * *

Hermione awoke to pain. Her hands and feet hurt, and she could vaguely remember attacking the walls. How long had she lain in her cell, cold, crying out names in her sleep. How long was she gone? A sickening sense of dread filled her, and she closed her eyes, trying to stop the world from spinning. She remembered vaguely that she had been screaming, and that her face was cut.  
Quickly, she raised her Occludic shields, imagining Severus saying "You idiot girl, occlude your mind. He could be anywhere." A tear trailed down Hermione's cheek as she thought of her professor. More than anything, she wished he was there with her.  
Burrowing deep inside her subconscious, she pulled up the fire inside her, noticing it was rather weak. She clenched her teeth, and tried to build it up. She succeeded, but managed to tire herself out. Panting, she closed her eyes, and imagined that her friends were there. Harry, sat with her, Ron stood, glaring at the walls, and someone else, stood in the corner. Screwing her eyes tighter, she looked closer. "Good evening, Miss Granger." Severus' voice tickled her ears, and she gasped, opening her eyes, looking around wildly. When she saw no one there, she lay down, and fought tears.  
_They wouldnt want me to be weak.I have to be strong, for them..._

That was the last thought she could manage, because at that moment, the wall beside her opened, and a pair of rough hands seized her. She let herself go limp. Firefirefirefire. She kept her eyes open, and saw that instead of back inside the house, she was being dragged into a cemetery. Voldie-shorts has a thing for cemetery's, she thought, fighting laughter at the new found nickname. Not so much as quirking a smile, and a hand flew to her face, leaving a stinging mark.

"Tie her here." A cold, dark voice ordered. The voice, so laced with evil...Hermione shuddered, and stayed limp, nearly flinching as a hand reached out to yank her hair. She felt it rip, but didnt do anything except clench her teeth, and bite the inside of her cheek. She was thrown to the ground, and couldn't help but whimper as she received a sharp kick in the ribs._Fire...firefirefire. Fire. _Someone murmured something, and she found herself glued by the knees to ground.  
She kept her face neutral, and was careful to put horrible thoughts about Voldie-shorts in front of the fire. She heard laughter, and felt something graze her mind."You dare mock my name? The name that is most feared amongst wizards? You mock it?" The laughter became harsh, cruel. "I shall break you, my pretty little Mudblood. I shall break you, and you will snap."  
_Fire. Fire. Firefirefirefire. Fire.  
_Hermione jumped as there was suddenly a hand on her face. Pain seared through the hand, and she bit her lip until coppery taste filled her mouth. She whimpered, and there was laughter again. The hand left, and went tp her hair, gently stroking it. Hermione cracked open her eyes, and fought with all she had not to scream. Voldemort stood in front of her, _touching her,_sneering as he called her a mudblood. He trailed a hand down her cheek, leaving a trail of burns as he touched her. She cried out as her burnt the sensitiseve skin on her neck. More laughter, as she screamed in pain when he touched her chest.  
She occluded fiercely, desperate to keep him out of her mind. there was more laughter, and she was suddenly cold. Naked, sherealized. The feeling of being dirty filled her, and she screamed, kicking and biting anything she could. Her foot struck something, and she cried out in pain as a hand twisted her ankle mercilessly. Ropes, she thought through the pain, as something wound around her legs as well, tieing them together. The hand returned, with more laughter. Touching her everywhere. dirty. More pain as the burning hand touched her skin. Stomach, abdomen, breasts. It hurt, and she screamed, still thinking of the fire as hot tears flowed down her face, thick and brutal. She was cold lower now, and dimly realized that she was completely bared to all the people watching. Monsters, they jeered and laughed as Voldemort touched her pelvic area, leaving thick, dark burns. he touched her thighs, and her back, everywhere. She screamed, begged, pleaded as he touched her most intimate parts. That, he didn't burn. But she felt dirtier than she had ever felt. His hand left her, and touched her face. She felt fingertips on her eyelids, opening them. Realizing what he was going to do, she pleaded him not to, screaming "No, please, NO!" He touched her eyes, and his fingers burned as they seared her vision. Straight into the depths of her vision, her very soul, those fingers burnt her.  
_Stars, white popping lights... whirling, spinning, deep inside the, fiefirefirefire..._  
She cried, hot tears of red as the hands left her completely.  
_It burns, lights and heat in the firefirefire..._  
"Lucius." The voice of Voldemort ordered. "Take our...little mudblood back to your manor." She gasped through the pain, still dimly aware of what was happening. Her occlusion still raged fiercely as Voldemort spoke again.  
"Break her."

* * *

Eyes, unseeing fluttered open. Tied? Hermione was hanging by her wrists. She was still cold, had to be naked. Her eyes burned, and her skin stung where Voldmort had touched her. His laughter echoed cruelly in her mind, but she couldn't occlude it. Tossing her head from side to side, she cried out as the laughter became real, but different. She heard footsteps, and tried to curl in on herself, shaking like a terrified animal. The chains rattled and clanged together as they protested being tugged on. A hand hit her, hard, turning her head with force. "Be quiet, you filthy little girl. You better not make me mad." His voice held a tone of threat, but Hermione ignored it, and focused on her fire. It was dimmer, and it would burn higher. She needed help...She needed...Severus. She squeezed her eyes tighter, and pictured him, and his touch on her shoulder. it worked, and she felt a blaze of light.  
it was extinguished though, as she heard whispiered words. Steeling herself, she said softly "You'll regret this."  
No answer. Then, pain exploded across her back. A whip? The man had conjured a whip? Laughter, more pain. On and on it went, over and over that dratted whip stuck her, until she was screaming in pain. There was a hand again, different, harsher, but still disgusting Hermione to her very core.

It touched her back, fresh with blood and scars from the burns. She tried to see, but it wasn't done. Crying, she heard an incantation. With the flick of his wand, Lucius bared himself, and with the act of the devil, she was innocent no more.

* * *

**/N: Short chappy, but I was away all weekend, and now im frigging tired. It was a little ewww? Yeah, i know, but the romance hasnt even started yet, so i dont know what some of you are talking about. And DanniV...telll Dumbledore what exactly?There isnt anything besides a student teacher thing right now. What do they tell dumbledore? "We're student and teacher."LOL**


	8. Im hanging by a moment here with you

**A/N:Loverlies, I love cliffys! Lol. I AM SO CRAZY SORRY, I AM SO FREAKING BUSY, IM TRYING PEOPLE!!  
My computer isn't being to friendly right now, but Snapes fixing it. -Squee-****  
****  
**_Now a promise made is a debt unpaid, and the trail has its own stern code.  
In the days to come, though my lips were dumb, in my heart how I cursed that load.  
In the long, long night, by the lone firelight, while the huskies, round in a ring,  
Howled out their woes to the homeless snows—O God! how I loathed the thing._Hermione is brainy  
Ron has red hair  
And they're my two best friends  
Here at Hogwarts  
And we'll cause lots of trouble  
Here at Hogwarts

How are we going to get out of this mess?  
How are we going to get out of this mess?

Let's go to the library  
I bet we can learn some valuable things there  
Like facts about Nicholas Flammel

How are we going to get out of this mess?  
Heres how we're going to get out of this mess:

We're going to solve the problem of the Sorcerer's Stone  
That's how were going to get out of this mess!

**A/N:Little children suck. And I hate babysitting. Fudge.****Quote of the day- Book Seven Spoiler:  
Severus Snape is a virgin.  
LMFFAO  
**

Question of the chapter:  
Who touched Hermione first?  
Answer, and get a double chocolate fudge nut cookie in my next note dedicated to you! :)  
Note:This chapter contains graphic scenes of torture, nudity, and coarse language. If it offends you, dont read it.  
ON WITH THE SHOW.  
NOTE: FROM SEVERUS'S POINT OF VEIW FOR A PART.

* * *

"She is gone." Albus Dumbledore said gravely. There was a collection of gasps and murmurs as the rest of the teachers took in the information that Hermione Granger was gone.  
Severus at in the corner of the room, shadowed by the wall beside him, face blank. Inside, though, a fierce battle was raging. Part of him wanted to plead the Dark Lord to let her go, part wanted to stay in the shadows. It would be dangerous. Very. Albus was going to ask him, he was sure of it. Sighing, he spoke softly, silencing the teachers forsake of listening. "The Dark Lord has her. And she is in danger. I will ask him to release her on conditions. Is that good enough for you all?" He sneered, hoping to cover up the fact that he wanted to find her and hold her, and... No, he couldn't think of that now. Or ever. A student. Then... a woman- no, she was already a woman... She was going to have a future. A bright one. Something Severus had never had. He was glad for her, he was. She was already too pure...too good for him. He was briefly reminded of Lily, and her brightness, pureness.  
"...Severus." Minerva said. He nodded as though he cared. He really didnt. Surveying them all with a glare, he stood, and gave the excuse that he needed time to think about what he was going to do.

In the corridor, he checked quickly to see if he was alone. Finding himself so, he leaned his back against the wall, oignoring the stubborn protest in the lower area. Sighing, he tried in vain to picture himself asking The Dark Lord to let her go. It was obvious why he had taken her. Several reasons, in fact. One, she was Harry Potter's best friend.  
Two, she was a girl.  
Three, she was a...Mudblood. Yes, its a disgusting word, even Severus thought it so. All the reasons he had taken her...it was sick.

* * *

"Pathetic Mudblood." Hermione barely heard the words that she had grown used to. She didn't see, even when she opened her eyes. A wall of brick? That's it. Maybe she did see? Maybe she was looking at the wall she was bound against. There was a slap. It stung, but faded to nothingness in a moment. She wanted Severus. Although she couldn't figure out why. She pondered this as she sat deep in the fire in her mind. That was the only place she was safe. She felt another sting, and she just burrowed deeper. Yes, she did want Severus. She wanted someone with stability, structure, a no nonsense attitude. She needed his dark eyes, and thin lips forming a sneer at her, giving her something to come out of the fire to. Something normal.  
She probably liked him. She mused that too. But he was a teacher. She hadn't ever kissed a boy, nor had fantasies, but she was sure that he could be an object of them. She sometimes got an odd feeling in her stomach whenever she thought about him. Oh well. He was her teacher. She would never act on anything. Jarred back to reality, she heard that laughter again. That horrible laughter. She didnt know how long she had been there, but the laughter_...Firefirefirefirefire. _

* * *

Severus arrived at the Order Of The Phoenix headquarters a around half past four, drenched in sweat, and bloody. Without Hermione. Yet.  
He had asked The Dark Lord. He had said yes...on conditions. Unsaid conditions. Crucio came at Severus, and he had to take it.  
He had, of course, in the end, gotten Hermio- Miss Grangers location, and permision to 'save' her. So bloody, aching, tired and full of plans, he staggered to the front door of headquarters, and stepped in. Right away, there was a flurry of activity, yelling, and pain. Severus sighed, and shouted "Shut. Up." As loud as his tired body would allow. They listened.

He took several deep breaths, not wanting help, until Albus came forward, and gently touched his elbow. The touch was welcome, and he allowed himself to be led to the sitting room. "Sit." Albus ordered, conjuring tea, and shoeing the other Order members from the room. Albus sat , watching him over steepled fingers, patiently waiting until Severus found the strength to mumbled "Lucius Malfioy has her. The Dark Lord wasnt happy that I asked, but he's agreed to allow my to 'rescue her'. Only because Lucius has been deceitful recently to him though. I..have to go tonight...I need to save her before Lucius...Ahem, I shall be departing soon, s-" He said softly, before breaking off. Albus sent him a questioning look. Severus felt his pale face tinge the slightest of pinks. "You have feelings for-" No." he interrupted the older wizard, who simply smiled, and sent him an 'I dont believe you', look.

"Do shut up." He shot at Albus, who had been smiling like he knew a secret. "After some pep-up, I need to-" He was cut off by Albus chuckling deeply. "You are..." he murmured, staring, fascinated at the ebony haired man.  
"I AM NOT!" Severus shot, frustrated. "She's just a valuable potions apprentice. Occlumeny, and dueling will not be needed after I get her. She will be too fragile. She will need to stay here, mind you, so..yes, ahem." He stood, and strutted from the room on aching legs, and waved his wand, slashing the air vindictively. A bottle soared at him, and he drank it down, making a face at the taste. A warm tingle ran through him, and he strode out the door, ignoring the questions written on everyone faces.

* * *

Hermione was vaguely aware of another person in the room, a new smell. She wouldn't open her eyes anymore, her wrists and hands were numb. Feeling a hand on her side, she sank into her fire more, and waited for it to stop. it didn't, grew more insistent,shaking her, and she tried to bring herself out of the flames to see who it was, and what they wanted. The hand left, and she relaxed, grateful to not have to leave the fire. There was a dim yell, and few flashes of light. There was screaming, and someone was bleeding. Hermione could smell it. then...the smell of something new. Something bad.  
Hermione smelled death.

She started a little, but remained where she was, it was safer in the fire. The hand was back on her waist, and she wanted it gone. She heard a voice, but couldn't distinguish the words. It was more like a low hum. She cocked her head a little, and heard the word Pheonix, and another, Albus. Who was Albus? He sounded familiar. Faces flew past her closed eyelids, and she saw a man with a long beard, who looked a bit like Father Christmas. Another, with red hair, and a lot of freckles. Then... someone dark. Black was all she could see. Black eyes stared at her through parted hair, and she realized this was the owner of the humming voice. She tried to speak, but couldn't. her throat wouldn't work,. and it was fine with her. Why should she speak? She was going to die. Lucius...he would kill her. She remembered his name, because when he... When he was touching her, he made her say it. It was disgusting. The humming voice grew louder, more insistent, and she became irritated. The hand left, and she inwardly cheered for a second. That is, until she dropped.

The ground, the coldness that her toes had been resting on, was on her knes now. It was bad, and she wanted to scream. Every cut that had been healing split open.  
Then, the hum again, and something in her mouth. Not this again. Lucius had only made her do this once, but didn't want it, because she bit him. Deciding that was it, she bit down again, and cried out when her teeth struck something hard and cold. A gross taste in her mouth, and warmth all around her, in her. Another cold thing in her mouth. There was a better taste this time, and Hermione felt her skin tightening, painfully almost. She cried out, and felt a soothing, gentle hand on her hair. She was frightened for a minute, until she realized the hand was only stroking her hair in attempts to calm her. The tightness went away, and she felt wonderfully better. her skin didn't hurt anymore. It was incredible, like all of her- wait. Her cuts were gone. Trying, she couldn't open her eyes. giving up, and shrugging, she felt something else in her mouth. Something that tasted like blueberry's was trickling down her throat. Suddenly, as if by magic, her wrists, sore, and fixed into a sideways angled position, were straitened painfully. She cried out again, and the hand on her hair stilled, and began to stroke rhythmically agaimn. The hum started, and she relaxed, though her wrists were screaming in pain. Hands on her body, waist, the behind the knees. Sudeenly, one behind her neck. Then, more humming. Hermione wondered weather or not she was going back to the man with hot hands. She oculdt remember his name. she felt herself being lifted, and was confused. Deciding she was okay with dying soon, she gave in, and relaxed her body. Apparently, the humming man didn't like this, because the next second, she felt herself being squeezed through a tube, and coming back out, breathless. She was put down, and heard a hum again. Something warm wrapped itself around her, and she was picked up again. The air was different, cleaner. Not used to it, she felt her chest constrict painfully as she sucked in a breath, then spasm when she coughed. The hand in her hair again. The person was walking, she felt every step, and braced herself to be thrown somewhere. instead, the walking stopped, and there was a squeak. A lot of noise, screaming, crying, the, a loud hum. Hermione felt herself being carried again, this time up somewhere. A weathered, soft hand rested on her cheek, and something wet dripped onto her hand. Smelling salt, she realized whoever was touching her was crying. The person carrying her moved again, she she was being lowered. something soft. Incredibly soft, was under her. Warmth on her, then, and hand on her forehead. Hermione tryed to open her eyes, bothered that she couldn't. When it failed, she moved a little, not accustomed to this much space and comfort. She cried out. She felt her mouth forming something, but it wouldn't come out. Giving up with an angry sound of impatience, she let herself relax, and slept.

* * *


	9. Forgetting all Im lacking,

**A/N:Okay, so here's how its goes.  
The song title/chapter thingy, is relevant, because we find out later, as I'm going to say , you find out now, that Severus has sort of always seen Hermione more than anyone in a crowd. its hard to explain, but basically, they obviously get together, this is a Severus/Hermione fic. Just read, and you'll understand? Lol.**

_And every day that quiet clay seemed to heavy and heavier grow;  
And on I went, though the dogs were spent and the grub was getting low;  
The trail was bad, and I felt half mad, but I swore I would not give in;  
And I'd often sing to the hateful thing, and it hearkened with a grin._

Mama told me what I should know,  
too much candy gonna ride your soul,  
if she loves you, let her go,  
'cause love only gets you down.

Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh, lollipop.  
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh, lollipop.

Sucking too hard on your lollipop,  
or love's gonna get you down,  
say,  
sucking too hard on your lollipop,  
or love's gonna get you down

**A/N:Guys, I am so sorry. I've been in a theater camp for the past two weeks, and it made me so tired... Im sorry. It'll start to progress now though, I promise! Loverlies, I am so sorry that crumb of a chapter took a week to crank out of my noggin. I think I may do the Lucius and Severus battle thing later, like a flashback or something. I love you all, thank you for reading!**

**Quote of the day- Throw a bunch of muggle bouncy balls around the corridor as Snape comes out the door, yelling GO PIKACHU, GO!!  
Question of the chapter:  
How did she picture severus in her minds eye?  
Answer, and get a double chocolate fudge nut cookie in my next note dedicated to you! :)  
_

* * *

_**

Severus sat beside the bed in the third bedroom on the left, number twelve Grimmauld Place, looking at the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Hermione Granger. It was a strange concept, Hermione..him being attracted to her. Not like it mattered, he could never tell her. He watched as her breathing grew quicker, tensing until she was relaxed again. If she were to wake up...Lucius had put her through such torture, she would more than likely be too scared by new surroundings to do anything except scream. She had only been gone two days, and already? Already, she was hiding in her mind, beaten and bloody as though she had been gone for months. Her wrists were broken, as her left leg, but at this point... Severus doubted that she had felt any of it.

It was just after three in the morning when Severus's well trained eyes caught the slightest twitch from Hermione. He didn't move. He waited.She twitched again, her light eyebrows furrowing slightly, followed by a soft whimper.

Severus still didn't move. Hermione's' breathing suddenly hitched and her small body tensed on the verge of panic, reliving her torture through her dreams. That's when Severus acted, focusing all his concentration on the girl lying before him and pushed through the fog …

_"Miss Granger?" Severus could feel the panic, the absolute terror close in on him, and had to force himself to remember they weren't his feelings. They were Hermione's'._

_He felt a wave of heat, and momentarily felt pride that she was occluding him. He had taught her that. He squared his shoulders, and tried to get a feel of where she was. Hearing a panicked moan, he halted his steps, knowing he was going in the right direction.  
"Miss Granger, I need you to answer me." Severus said, trying to get the girl to understand that he wasn't going to hurt her. It didn't work. The moan turned into crying, and pleas. Severus listened in awe, as the strongest witch he had ever seen, broke.  
He was listening to Hermione Granger beg.  
It sickened Severus to hear, angered him beyond anything he had ever felt, with what he had seen Lucius doing to her when he had arrived.  
Trying to maintain composure, he called  
"HERMIONE GRANGER, YOU WILL ANSWER ME THIS INSTANT." Silence. Then, "Severus?" He halted. Severus? Where had that come from?  
"Yes, Hermione," Better to match wits?__ "I'm here."  
There was more silence, then, another sob "No, No your not Severus...Lucius, why?! Just kill me, I'm as broken as I can get."  
"Do I feel like Lucius?" Severus asked her softly. "Do you remember when I told you that sometimes you can feel the goodness and evil in a presence? Do I feel evil?"  
"No."She responded, sounding shaky and unsure. "You feel scared."  
She was shaky, and Severus felt her nerves, how damaged she was. "Miss- Hermione...Do you remember when we first started our lessons? When I told you to stand up and fight? You need to be strong...you need to fight this."  
**  
**_Severus gave her the memory of shouting the words at her, the feeling of pride as she complied. There was a slight push on his mind, and he found himself in the bedroom again, panting, and shaking.

He looked down at Hermione, and found his eyes meeting hers. Her pupils were dilated, and eyes bloodshot. He felt a tentative hand go towards her, and watched with worry as she shrank back, away from him, still not breaking eye contact. He halted his hand, making sure she saw it, and whispered "Its okay...Its only me." He sighed with relief as she nodded, and he slowly reached out, until his hand was resting lightly on the bed. He felt a small hand on his, her pale fingers gently swept across his. She blinked, and tears streaked down her face. Severus fought the urge to kiss them away. It was strange, after so long, keeping himself leashed away from everyone, to feel so powerfully about someone.  
She continued to stare at him, trembling now. He murmured her name, and moved his hand a little, so that his thumb was brushing across her knuckles. She closed her eyes, and a deep, shuddering breath racked her body. He closed his eyes, and said " You're safe now."  
His eyes opened, looking at her again. She parted her lips, and was about to say something. Instead, a sob slipped through them, and she burst into tears, moving her hand, and shrinking into the covers. His heart cracked a little more, and he murmured "Hey...what? What is it? Did I hurt you?" He mentally kicked himself for being stupid and concerning himself with her.  
She shook her head, and he his the relief swooping through him. "What is it, then?"  
She sobbed again, and managed to say "Y-you-'re m-mad at m-m-me... I c-couldn't...d-d-defend m-myse-lf... I l-l-let her t-ake me..." The last word ended on another sob, and Severus sighed. "No, Hermione...I'm not mad. I am..." What was the word? Glad? Thankful? He supposed he was happy. Another strange notion. " I'm happy that your safe." Her eyes were wide and scared when he reached for her again, but she didn't flinch. She touched his hand lightly, and tried to hide her tears, still silently sobbing. Giving up on his restraint, he murmured "Come here."  
She looked bewildered, and he gently moved to sit on the bed, beside her. "Hermione...come here." She did, and he looked down at her laying beside him. "I-I'm s-s-sorry..." She sobbed. He shook his head, and put a gentle hand to her cheek, brushing the tears away with his thumb.

She gasped, from contact if anything. Leaning slightly into his touch, she sobbed still, reaching for him silently. He allowed himself to be gently pulled forward, and held her to his chest as she cried, hoping to god that this was the right thing to do. It felt right, to hold her, comfort her...but she was only seventeen...a child. And god help him, he wanted more than anything to hate her. For once, Severus Snape forgot how to hate.

Hermione cryed herself to sleep in his arms, and once he knew she was calm, he let her go, and rose, leaving the room.  
Down in the kitchen, Lupin was at the table, a mug of cocoa wrapped in his hands. "How is she?" He asked, as Severus walked in. He shrugged, and said "Scared. Tired. Sleeping." Lupin nodded, and waved another mug onto the table. He gestured for Severus to sit, and he did, glancing at Lupin distrustfully. Suddenly, he had to know. "Why did you hate me so much?"  
Lupin looked startled, his grey hair greyer than it had ever been. Looking tired, and worn, he murmured " I never did."  
Severus scoffed. "What happened to Levicorpus? The whomping willow? Lily?" The last felt strange on his tongue, he hadnt spoke her name in...at least ten years. Lupin shook his head. "James was a good man...But he was also a bit of a bully. I didn't know about the Willow. Sirius did that... and James...He thought...Well lets say that they didn't speak for quiet a while." Severus nodded, finding that he didn't really care. In the past. All of it. Lupin sighed wearily as he sipped from his mug. Severus loosly curled his thin fingers around his, enjoying the warmth. The two men exchanged a glance before a loud thud, and the word "Tonks!" Was exclaimed rather feircly. A smile crossed Lupins features, and Severus immediatly knew why. Tonks and Lupin had been close for some time... Now that Sirius was gone, Tonks and Lupin had become closer, finding comfort in the wake of the lost marauder.

The kitchen door flew open, and Moody stumped in, his eye swivling furiously. Fixing itself upwards, he growled "Good, you got her." Tonks followed, smiling at Lupin before tripping, and stumbling into a chair. Mad-eye rolled his normal eye, and sat heavily. Tonks blushed, and followed suit. Severus sat quiet, throughout this whole gathering, and still so as Molly and Arthur Weasly stumbled through the fireplace, brushing themselves off, looking worried and aggitated. "Where is she?!" Molly asked hurriedly, as her husband ushered her into a chair, and perched beside her.  
It was then that Severus spoke. "Upstairs."  
Everyone was still silent, waiting for someone to speak. It was Severus that broke the silence. "Lucius Malfoy. He had her. For two days. She was tortured, raped, and starved with a hunger inducing potion." There was silence, tenser now as he continued. " She is in a weak emotional state." He glanced up from his cocoa. Molly had tear tracks down her face, Arthur gently stroked her hair, looking sick. Lupin knew, but the news repeated seemed to have stunned him, as he sat, anger flickering through his tired, grey eyes. Tonks had her fists clenched on the tabletop, her hair a vibrant red. Moody just growled.

"Tell...tell us what happened when you got there." Molly said shakily.  
Severus nodded, and began.  
"I arrived outside of Malfoy Manor around seven o'clock. I entered without a problem, his wards are rather weak. He had her in the basement."  
He paused, taking a steadying breath, then continued.  
"She was chained by her wrists, and ankles, her toes barely touching the floor. He was naked, upon her, cutting her with a knife as she screamed. I dont think she knew what he was doing, more of an unconcius pain reaction. She was occluding so well, so much that she was numb. He was brutally raping her as well, and I-"  
He stopped, feeling sick.  
They waited for him to continue, and eventually he did, a sick look on his face.  
"I just, couldnt help it. I just felt so angry. I crucoied him, and he backed away from her. I let it continue, and went to touch her, to let her know I was there. She didnt even aknowledge me. I let Lucius stand, and he tried to fight me. I..." He suddenly felt ashamed. "I killed Lucius Malfoy."


	10. Completely Incomplete

* * *

A/N:So, heres another chappy for you all!  
Sex, toys and chocolate!!  
My favourite marble is the green one!

_Till I came to the marge of Lake Lebarge, and a derelict there lay;  
It was jammed in the ice, but I saw in a trice it was called the "Alice May."  
And I looked at it, and I thought a bit, and I looked at my frozen chum;  
Then "Here," said I, with a sudden cry, "is my cre-ma-tor-eum."_

I hope your happy,  
I hope your happy now, I hope your happy that you stole from me the tony,  
You vulgar one trick pony!!  
(Wickeder, Forbidden broadway)

**A/N:I gave you a good chapter?**

**Quote of the day- "Why are you doing this Severus? YOU KNOW THIS IS YOUR BABY!!"  
Question of the chapter:  
What is Severus middle name?  
Answer, and get a double chocolate fudge nut cookie in my next note dedicated to you! :)  
**

"Se...Sev..." A cry floated through the thin walls of number twelve, Grimmauld place, waking Severus Snape with a start.  
"Sev...Se..."He sat up slowly, shaking sleep from his mind as he listened. He knew where he was wanted.  
He quietly stood, and made his way to Hermione's room. He opened the door as quietly as possible, wincing at the loud squeak.  
Even in pitch-blackness, he knew exactly where to walk. He made his way forward, and his shin gently found the edge of the bed. He could hear Hermione as she thrashed in her sleep, fighting off her demons, and calling out Severus' name. He sat beside her softly, not wanting to frighten her, and put out a hand. It found her shoulder, and at the contact, she cryed out his name.

His heart ached a little for her, and he shoved the thought out of his mind as he gently shook his hand on her shoulder, rousing her.  
He could see more now, his eyes had adjusted to the dark, and he could make out her face, twisted in fright, covered in tears.  
"Hey..." He whispered, as he leaned over her trembling frame. Her eyes opened, and a sob broke from her throat.  
"Hermione...what is it?" He murmured, reaching for her. She shook her head, and shrank from him, still crying.  
"It's okay, it's only me. It's okay." He whispered, trying to make her see that it was him.

She sobbed again, clearly still frightened. Suddenly, and idea struck him. She couldn't see. He could. Swearing softly to himself, he waved his hand lightly, a small ball of light softly lit the room. She looked worse than she did in the dark. Her beautiful brown hair was spilled across the sheets, sweat-soaked tendrils curling around her neck. Her cheeks were red, her eyes puffy and wide eyed with terror. The tip of her nose was red, and she was visibly shaking.

He murmured her name, and she wordlessly reached for him again. He lay down beside her, not quiet aware of his actions, and opened his arms. She scooted closer,and looked up at him, with big, scared brown eyes, before sobbing violently into his nightdress.  
He whispered words of comfort to her as she cried, rocking her slightly. "Its okay...Hermione, its okay."

When she had finally stopped sobbing, she looked up at him. "H-he always has that knife..." She murmured. Severus was confused, and looked questioningly at her. He absently stroked her hair a second, before pulling his hand away. She was a student. Dont do it.  
It was odd. All rational thought left Severus when he was with her, all he could think about was touching her.

"He..." She whispered. Severus nodded, encouraging her. " He had a knife...if was small...He-he would...he cut me..." She pulled up her nightdress, and Severus couldnt help but draw in a sharp breath. Cuts, scars... riddling her pale skin. She sniffled, and murmured "Once...He told me I wasnt wet enough for him...Not big enough... H-he...-" She sobbed again, clearly not able to talk.  
Severus tipped her chin to look at him, and said "Will you let me see?"  
She blinked, tears gone, and nodded slowly. Not sure why, he held his hand out, twining their fingers as he whispered "Legilimense."  
There was a gasp, and suddenly, he was in her mind.

_Her wrists hurt, a lot, but by now she knew that there was no point in struggling. She heard his voice again. A flash of silver, and a stinging pain on her leg. A knife? She cried out when he stuck the tip through her flesh, dragging it upwards. She felt revulsion as she felt his fingers on her, inside her.  
He forced her to look at him.  
"Your not wet enough for me, mudblood." Lucius growled. Severus watched, horrified as Lucius spread her legs, and slowly agonizingly, slid the knife into her. A scream ripped through the air, and Severus felt sick. Hermione shook, and cried out as blood ran, thick and hot down her legs. Severus had the urge to kill this Lucius. A silvery chain glinted in the room, and Severus came closer, trying to catch a glimpse of what it was.  
"Do you like that? You filthy little mudblood?" Lucius snarled, driving into her with the blade. "What do you want? Me, or the knife?"  
Hermione screamed, and sobbed, begging for mercy.  
He slit crosses down her legs, and drove into her again.  
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" He roared.  
"You, Lucius...I want you..." Severus heard the revulsion in her voice, but it was good enough for Lucius. He plunged into her, making animalistic sounds as she screamed in pain.  
He drew in a sharp breath, and everything spun and twisted, untill he found himself in Hermiones room._

"I'm sorry..." She murmured. Severus shook his head, disgusted with Lucius...with himself for not knowing.  
"Hermione...How long did Lucius have you?" He asked. She sniffled, and murmured "Long."  
Severus nodded, trying not to feel anything but pity. Unfortunatly, it didnt work. "Hermione, I promise you, I wont ever let anyone hurt you. Ever."  
She looked up at him with wide, chocolaty eyes, disbelieving. "He'll find me."  
Severus, actually quirked his lips for a brief second, before sneering at her half-heartedly. "No, he wont."  
"How do you know...?" She whispered, looking scared and...there was something else...hidden in the depths of her eyes. Something Severus had never seen before.  
"I killed him."

* * *

Hermione shook her head against Severus's chest. "He'll find me..." She murmured, meeting his eyes.  
Severus actually smiled, causing her heart to do a weird leap. Seconds later, it re-aranged into a sneer. Something gripped her suddenly. She wanted to ask him why. Why he would retreat like that. The very thought frightened her, and she whispered "How do you know, hoping he would tell her what happened.  
"I killed him."  
Hermione sucked in a breath, and felt her heart cease its beating for a moment. "Y-you...what?"  
"I killed him." He repeated simply, as though asking for a peice of toast at breakfast. Emotions flooded through her, and she did the only thing she could think of. She hugged him. Although, it wasnt a drastic movement, she was already lying beside him, resting her head on his chest, calming at his heartbeat.  
She felt him stiffen, and was about to pull away, when his arms came around her, holding her close.  
"You promise he's gone?" She whispered. She felt him nod, and smiled a little. Fear still held her, her nightmares kept plauging her. But at least she knew he was gone.  
"Thank you." She said softly, looking up at him. She felt her breath catch in her throat, finding his face only inches away from hers. The feeling of Lucius' lips on hers, hard, unyeilding, insulting crashed around her, and she held back tears, burying her head in the crook of his shoulder.

A shuddering breath passed through her body, and felt his arms around her once again.  
"Its okay. Its okay, Hermione..it will pass."  
She nodded, letting his voice wash over her.  
She opened her eyes, and went to look at him again, when she noticed the lights had gone out. Her heart sped up a little, a slight panic gripping her. Severus must have felt it, because he imediatly shifted, untill she could feel his breath on her forehead. That meant he was lying against her. She felt fingers tracing her jawbone, and fear left her, melting her by his simple touch. "Severus...I-" She broke off, suprised that he was causing a strange heat to spread through her. She had read about this in novels she borrowed from her mum, ones about love, and passion.  
His fingers, warm and tender, traced her lower lip, sending shivers down her spine. "Severus..." She whispered, hoping, wondering, praying that he could feel that heat.  
"Hermione..." His low voice rumbled from the darkness. "Severus, what is that?" She gasped, as he traced his fingers down her neck.  
"Am I hurting you?" His fingers instantly stilled. She shook her head, then remembered that he couldnt see. "No, just...I feel- Warm...like there's something warm running through my veins..." She heard a chuckle, and he murmured "Thats what it feels like. When someone wants you to feel what they feel when they look at you. This is what it feels like when someone...cares."  
She knew what he was going to say. "Do you?"  
"I dont know..." His fingers stilled again, still resting the pads lighty on her neck.  
She reached up, and captured his fingers. "Please... tell me if you do."  
" I-I cant." For the first time in her life, she heard Severus sounding scared.  
"Why not? Are you afraid I'll hate you? I wont feel back?"  
She felt him nod again, wondering how he could do that. "Never." She whispered.  
"You're too young. And you've just been through something horrible." He swore softly, and rolled away from her. By some instinct, she reached out, and caught his wrist. All fear had left her, gripped instead with...heat. She knew she wasnt ready for anything hugely intimate, but...  
"Stay...please?" She murmured, her hold on his wrist lossening. Sensing his hesitation, she added " I know I'm not ready for anything...but you felt...nice. I trust you..." Severus sat on the bed, he must have, because she felt the matress sink under him a little.  
Hermione still held his wrist, now lightly running his fingers along the jut of bone, marveling how soft his pale skin was beneath her fingers.

"Its weird, huh?" She murmured, eyes closed now. "What is?" Severus asked, still sitting.  
"That someone like Lucius could destroy my life, and within...an hour of you being close...I feel-I feel normal again."  
Severus shifted, maybe from being uncomfortable, so she made to move her hand away from him. She was suprised when he caught her fingers in his, twining them together.  
"I am a bad person, Hermione. You shouldnt feel safe around me." He murmured. He gave her fingers a squeeze, and went to stand. She tightened her grip, and said softly "Please..."

Instantly, he slid into a mask, a shell. His back went rigid, and his face hardened. Hermione watched him change into her stony professor once again.  
He tried to let go of her hand, but she would have non of it.  
"Miss Granger, let me go. Now."  
"Miss Granger? Since when? And no."  
"Miss Granger, let me go!"  
"Severus-"  
"Do.Not.Call.Me.That."  
"Fine. Whatever." Hermione's voice broke, and she tore her hand away from his. "Get out then. Thanks for...being yourself for five seconds. You should have just left me to die, if you were going to be like this the second you realized you were actually doing good."

* * *

"You should have just left me to die..." Her words echoed in his head, and he felt a twinge of hurt. He rose to leave, heart weeping, eyes narrowed in mock anger. At the door, he paused, listening to her shuddering breaths, the sobs he was causing.  
Unsure of what to say, he decided an appology would be best.  
"I'm sorry." He whispered, his stony demeanor falling, replace by a fragile, vulnerable Severus he had not been for years. What she said next, was something that tore at his heart, eating at his very soul.  
"Save your breath."

* * *

**Where is that from? Save your breath? I wonder?  
Loverlies? Likeage?  
Reviewage?**


	11. I'll take your invitation,

**A/N:Loverlies? You liked it!? I did too!  
Muah, heres another chapter.  
Snape angst!**

_Some planks I tore from the cabin floor, and I lit the boiler fire;  
Some coal I found that was lying around, and I heaped the fuel higher;  
The flames just soared and the furnace roared—such a blaze you seldom see;  
_

_Then I burrowed a hole in the glowing coal, and I stuffed in Sam McGee._

Who, is that girl I see?  
Staring straight, back at me?  
When will my, reflection show?  
Who I am, inside?

**A/N:Skidouch.**

**Quote of the day-I am not a twat! AND WE HAD JAM!!  
Question of the chapter:  
What was Hermione thinking, when she told Severus she wanted him to stay?  
Answer, and get a double chocolate fudge nut cookie in my next note dedicated to you! :)**

* * *

"Please...Im so sorry...please..." Severus cried. He awoke with a gasp, in his room at headquarters. He glanced around before he remembered what happened, what he did to Hermione. She had barely been saved, and he had already tried to hurt her. He felt selfish, suddenly, pushing her away because he wanted to stay safe, sheltered.  
Memorys of that horrible night with Lily in the corridor assailed him. His face was wet, but reasonably, that didnt count. He hadnt cried. Because if he was awake, he would have stopped it.

Hermione. What to do? "God...I-" Severus whispered into the dark nothingness of his room. He sat up, and swung his legs off the bed.  
Not again. Not Hermione too...

* * *

The door creaked, and Hermione stilled. Fear rushed through her, and she almost stopped breathing.  
"Hermione?"  
She relaxed, fear filtering out of her system, replaced by anger, and hurt. "Get out."  
"Please...wait." Severus voice tickled her ears, making her want to listen. She resisted. "Why? No-don't answer that. Just get out."  
She heard a breath, deep and hard, being drawn. Her heart stopped, waiting for him to leave, make it okay. If he wasnt there, he couldnt hurt her.  
"Hermione...Please listen." He asked, sounding scared. She rolled her eyes. "Leave the light off. Come in. Dont touch me."  
There was an air of releif in the room.  
A sound of footsteps. Then- the matress sunk a little.  
"What do you want? Professor?" Hermione added anger, and hurt, sarcasm, and so much else to the last word.  
"Hermione...I'm-" He stopped, and she felt a shudder. "Does it make you shudder to appologize to me?" She asked, angrily.  
"N-no." He stuttered, sounding un-Snapelike. Another shudder, and a small sound. So faint, she could barely hear it.  
The weight of the matress depressed, and Hermione heard fast steps, more shuddering breaths.  
A sudden feeling of regret, remorse filled Hermione. "Severus."

The sounds stopped, only the breathing remained, now being semi hidden.  
"Come here." Silence.  
"Severus...I will get up if I have to. Come here." More silence.  
"Fine." Hermione tried not to grimace at the pain as she tried to stand. Halfway off the bed, he spoke.  
"I dreampt about her." He sounded scared, tired, and so very, very alone. Hermione stilled. "Lily?" Harry told her once, about Snape and his mum.  
"Mmm."  
"Come here." She demended again, softer this time. Slow footsteps made their way over to her. She moved back, so that her back was against the wall of the room, resting on her side, near the pillows. It was dark, she couldnt see anything. Still, she reached out her arms. He caught her fingertips, and she held on. "Come..." She murmured. Remorse gripped her, and she had a feeling she had hurt him. Why? Snape of two before kidnap was rude, arrogant, and hatefull.  
He sat beside her, and the shuddering breaths returned. "Let me see you..." Hermione murmured. "No." He said, some panic in his voice.  
"Please..."  
"Lumos." A soft, almost non-existant glow emanated from his wand. Not much help. His hair was covering his face. Shifting slightly, she reached for him. "No..." He whispered.  
"Please...Severus?" Hermione pleaded with her voice. " It's okay..."  
Severus nodded, and she hooked a finger around his hair. Gently pulling it away from his face, she tucked it behind his ear.  
The light went out.  
Not before she saw his face. His normally black, calculated eyes, were red-rimmed, and wet. Pale cheeks were red, and tear streaked, and his mouth was screwed up, into a grimace of sadness.  
"What did you dream about?" She asked, choosing not to comment on his saddening look.  
"Lily." He whispered.  
"Show me?"  
"Yes."

_

* * *

_

_"Save your breath."_

_"No..."  
Severus was lying on the floor underneath the fat lady, and Lily almost stepped on him. When he saw her, he scrambled to his feet and tried to speak, but no words came out of his mouth. Lily crossed her arms and stared at him coldly. His numbness grew, and a deep ache of sadness threatened to consume him._

_"What do you want?" she snapped. He cursed himself for flinching, and immediately hung his head. He took a deep breath and muttered an appology so quiet, he knew she couldnt hear it. She looked at him with raised eyebrows.  
"I don't have time for this." She turned to climb back into the portrait hole, but Severus found his voice.  
"I'm sorry." He murmured, terror at being rejected gripping his heart.  
"I'm not interested." She replied icily with her back still toward him.  
"I'm sorry!" he said with more desperation, wanting to hold her, tell her he loved her._

_"Save your breath." She said through gritted teeth, her eyes flashing.  
"Lily, please!" he put his hand on her shoulder, and she whipped around furiously. "You know, I'm only out here because Mary said you were threatening to sleep here!" she hissed. He was suprised. Mary was just a snitty chit. Why would she care?_

_"I...I was!" he stammered, motioning to the floor where he had been lying moments before. "I…mean…I would have. I…I…I" he swallowed, "I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just…" he trailed off.  
"Slipped out?" Lily asked softly. "Well it's too late Severus!" her words echoed against the stone walls of the hallway. Severus just stared at her, sure that if he moved even a muscle, he would break down in tears, begging and pleading. Looking even stupider than he already did.. She threw her hands up "I have been making excuses for you for years! NONE of my friends understand why I even TALK to you! You and your precious little Death Eater friends!"_

_Severus just stared at her quietly, pure desperation running through him.  
"You see!" she cried, "You see! You don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you want to be Severus! That's why you've been hanging out with those horrible people! You can't wait to become a Death Eater, can you!?" she accused. Still he said nothing, only looked at the floor in defeat, finally, silent, hot, horrible tears streaking his pale face._

_"You hung out with those people, those horrible people and you listened to them! They taught you how to be mean and hateful, they taught you how to be evil and deceitful! Well... you didn't need that lesson Severus, YOU DIDN"T NEED IT!" her voice cracked slightly, and he wanted to tell her he was sorry, to hold her close..._

_"You lied to me." She whispered. "You lied. You said that you loved me! You…we…" she took a deep breath, "You said that you loved me. It was all a lie wasn't it? Just like everything else. You were so sweet once. You-you didnt need to change."_

_"Lily, no, it's not like that! I-I did...No one...no one wanted me!" Severus found his voice, already crying and not caring. He leaned in towards her, trying to hug her, but she put her arms out to stop him.  
"I can't pretend any more Severus." She said slowly, her voice quivering. "You've chosen your way, and I've chosen mine."  
"No, Lily, please...please, I'm so sorry... I didnt mean to-"_

_He knew then, when she shook her head, that she was sick of the conversation.  
"To call me Mudblood?" she interupted. "Well you did Severus, you did. You call everyone of my birth Mudblood. Why should I be any different? I obviously mean nothing to you."_

_Severus struggled on the verge of speech, but Lily just shot him a contemptuous look and started climbing back through the portrait hole._

_"Lily," Severus said with one last thread of hope, "I'll see you when I see you."_

_She didn't reply._

_"Lily? Lily...please...I'm so sorry...please-please..."_

_

* * *

_

Hermione sat in shock, waiting for Severus to speak. Five minutes turned into ten, then twenty.  
Finally- "Severus?"  
No sound, except ragged breathing. She reached over, and touched his shoulder. He jerked, and growled "Dont."  
There was more silence, and Hermione waited.  
"Im sorry." A whispered appology. "Why are you sorry?" She asked, confused.  
"I didnt mean to snap."

"Its okay." She whispered. "I need to get used to it."  
"Why?" She heard confusion in his voice. "No one will want me now..." She murmured, wanting to curl up and dissapear.  
"What do you mean?" He inquired softly.  
"No one will want me...not now that...I'm just... a ruined whore..."  
"I dont think your ruined..." He whispered, sounding unsure of what he was saying.  
"Hm. I know that no one would..."  
"I'm sorry that he did this...I..." He tried and failed.

"Dont appologize. Can you handle me touching you now?"  
"I-I think so." He whispered. She nodded, more to herself, and reached out again. Her hand rested on his shoulder.  
"I'm...Sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you earlier...And I'm sorry that she did this to you..." She murmured, twining a peice of his hair in her fingers. It was soft...not greasy like she expected.  
"Dont pity me." He said harshly. Hermione shook her head, and leaned close to him. She moved her other hand, and found his chin. She tipped it up, so that she could feel his ragged breath on her cheek.  
"Severus...Let me in, and just...be yourself..." Hermione murmured, pressing her lips softly to the tip of his nose.  
An intake of breath, then a bigger shuddering breath.  
"What is it?" Hermione asked, afraid she hurt him.  
Then, she realized. Armor. Something he had built up for so long...She was stripping it away...Then- 'Save your breath...', and now, kissing his nose?  
She was bringing the real Severus Snape up, and it was scaring him.  
"I'm not scared..." He said, making her remember that he was in her mind.  
"Yes...you are. And its okay. Because Im scared too. We can be scared together." She whispered.  
He nodded, and she blew a cool breath on his nose, smiling when he sniffed violently.  
"She...hated me. I never got to tell her how sorry I was..." He said softly, still shuddering.  
"Oh...Severus..."  
"I dont deserve this." He whispered.  
"Yes. You do." She replied. "Are you tired?"  
"My back hurts." Severus said softly.  
"Lets lay."

And they did. Severus rested his head on her chest, still upset over his dream. Hermione ran her fingers through his hair, and he sniffled.  
"My heart hurts." He moaned.  
"It will...Severus...how long has it been since youve cried?"  
It had obviously shocked him, because he murmured "Uhm...uh...Since that memory?"  
"That long?" He nodded against her chest.  
"Oh...Im so sorry for what she did to you..."  
"Dont pity me!" He repeated, harsher than before.  
Tucking a hand under his chin, she lifted up his face and found it wet on her fingertips, streaked with a few tears that flowed against his will.  
So much pain had been visited tonight, with many new and long forgotten emotions surfacing.  
"You mistaken pity, for compassion." She murmured, brushing the tears away.  
"Why does it hurt so much now?" He whispered. She could see him a little now, her eyes used to the dark. He looked like a lost puppy, down and kicked too many times.  
"Oh...baby..." She whispered, stroking a finger down his cheek.

She held him tighter as the first breath came, long, and harsh. He let forth a small sound, and turned his face into her chest more, as though to hide. A bigger breath, and finally, after so many years of pent up anger, and hurt, frustration and lonelyness...A sob broke free from his lips, as tears flowed onto her nightshirt. He sniffled, and tried to stop, but he couldnt. Hermione rubbed small circles in his back, and whispered words of encouragement in his ear. "Its okay...yes, let it out...Its okay..."  
Another sob came, strangled, and Hermione whispered "It only hurts more if you fight it..."  
With that, Severus wrapped his arm around her waist, and let loose, sobbing violently into her nightdress. He drew in fistfulls of sheets, and held on to her as he cried. She continuously whispered in his ear. He spoke as he cried, as well. "Im s-sorry! I w-w-was s-so sc-sc-scared...t-hat you -w-w-would hate m-m-me too..." The last word ended on a different pitch, breaking Severus into fresh tears again.

Hermione stroked his hair, running her fingers down his back, whispering consoling words to him as he wept.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, his sobs slowled into sniffes, interupted by coughing fits.  
"Stay with me..." He whispered, before sleep claimed them both.

* * *


End file.
